chronicles of a fat girl named miss tejota

Are you still here?

2011-06-03T13:30:00.000-04:00

My last post was Friday, May 13th. On that Friday, I didn't know I was about to have a mini-breakdown because I had lost my job on May 10th. I knew my last day at work was coming so I thought I would be okay with the fact I might not have a job for a while. However, I wasn't. I planned togive myself three days to wallow in my the grief, eat horrible food, and sit around and be uber lazy. Three days apparently for my brain wasn't enough.

Three days turned into almost three weeks. I was in a downward spiral, in a haze of confusion and I didn't see my way out. I've never been laid off or fired. I've never not worked, I've only been in transition. When I left previous jobs even knowing I didn't have another job lined up, before my last day hit I was already hired in another position or among the final candidates for another job. So shock came and I just spaced out and depression hit and it hit me hard. I'm not happy with the life I led over the past three weeks, but I'm going to put it behind me and move forward.

To start the progression I realized I needed to get out of New York and have an adventure to help me get my mental mojo back. So currently I'm in Seattle and will venture up to Vancouver for a few days. This trip will hopefully give me the resolve to return home and start fresh. This rebirth of sorts is only made possible because I have amazing friends. I'm truly grateful to have them in my life.

I look forward to reconnecting with you all.

Discovery Times Square - Pompeii The Exhibit Winners

2011-05-13T23:55:00.001-04:00

Image retrieved from the Discovery Times Square Pompeii the Exhibit web site.

Now that Blogger is working again, I'm pleased to announce the winners of the pair of passes, along with a 10% discount at the gift shop at the Discovery Times Square, Pompeii The Exhibit. Random.Org chose numbers 14 and 12 out of the 18 entries, that is Living with Edward and Melissa Z. Congratulations!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Tell them Batman!

2011-05-11T23:51:00.000-04:00

Summer 2011 Plans

2011-05-10T22:31:00.000-04:00

So as many of you know as of 5 PM today, May 10, 2011 at 5 PM EST I became officially unemployed. My job was dissolved because the department ran out of funding. Since I had travel plans already set-up, plus two full weeks of Grand Jury Duty scheduled, finding another job and getting hired might be a tad difficult. Even though it will be difficult I'm not going to stop looking, I just need to be realistic.

However, losing my job has made my life quite interesting. This will be the first time a very long time that I'm really unemployed, not just in transition. So I'm on a mission and I wanted to share some of what I have planned for the Summer 2011:

1. Update this blog. I want to overhaul the blog, add more pages so it will clear up the clutter that is on the main page.
2. Build a presence. Technically I'm apart of this social media/marketing world. However, I don't know enough about it. I want to take the time to learn, network, and grow.
3. Explore NYC. I lived here for a few years and each year was filled with school, work, and studying. Because of it I was lazy, I didn't take the time to do all the wonderful things I could because I was just so tired. I have no excuse, it's time to explore.
4. Read, read, read. Read things other than fanfiction and school books. I love to read, but I've got in a rut and haven't read as much as I would like. So I'm hitting the books and getting my imagination flowing.
5. Take photos and plenty of them. I use to carry a camera everywhere I went. Then as time went on, I didn't crave out space to edit my photos, so it became easier to just not take pictures. It's time to start again. Possibly even take another photography class and brush up on things that I've forgotten.
6. See shows. Regardless if it is a play, musical, or band. I need to get my music and culture on. So if I can afford it, I'll be there and hopefully with a camera in hand.
7. Get healthy. My body has been falling apart and to help mend it, I need to eat better, exercise, and just take care of myself.
8. Have fun. Even though I'll be stressed beyond belief trying to figure out how I'm going to make it day-by-day, I still need to relax and enjoy life. I'll never make it if I don't allow myself some fun.

Do you have think there is anything I should add to my summer 2011 plans?

Music Monday - 100 Monkeys Concert

2011-05-09T18:34:00.007-04:00

Image retrieved from Eclipse Movie

I was ~~hounded~~ encouraged to see the "100 Monkeys" live by @jaymes805 and I'm glad I followed her advice. Besides viewing a few videos here and there and the five songs Jaymes805 let me listen to I was unsure if I was going like the band's music. I love how hot they are, but that isn't enough to make me start buying their music. Those days stopped in 1994, when I truly began to realize the value of dollar when I had to pay my first college tuition bill.

Jaymes805 being just the awesome person that she is, introduced me to @Cupcake__xo a fellow New Yorker who was attending the concert and a fan of the band. It's nice to hit a show with a fan when you don't know anything about the band. They can give you insight into the group, that you might not get as a newbie. Cupcake__xo and I chatted back and forth before the concert on May 7, 2011. She was getting in line to see the band in the early afternoon. I however couldn't bring myself to do that. I had a date with unlimited sangria at Calle Ocho and I just didn't want to stand in line for hours and then end up not really liking the band.

So my friend and I arrived around 5:45 PM to the Highline Ballroom to get in line for the doors to open at 6 PM. After we secure our 21 and over wristbands I go to meet Cupcake__xo. I didn't make that great of a first impression, my nose was running and crusty, it looked like I was transported back into my 6 year-old self. I was disgusted with myself, but Cupcake__xo didn't appear to be to bothered. Maybe she only saw visions of Jackson Rathbone and didn't notice.

We all finally make it into the venue, my friend and I are basically in the middle of the pack of the group that is on the floor. After a small wait the first opening act "Red Abbey" start to perform. I love their energy and any group that includes an electric violin has my attention. My hearing is a little off and I can't make out all of the lyrics, but I love the beat and I'll be doing some research about the band later on to learn more. The second opening act, "The Kissing Club" begins to perform and I immediately want to drink myself into a stupor, slit my wrists, or both. They are killing me. I'm immediately depressed. Not even when their happy, upbeat songs come on can I even begin to like them. They have turned this night of excitement into one of dread. I'm praying for their act to end, but it seemed like Jeebus wanted me to suffer because with every pray, they played another dreadful song.

As I lay on the floor in the fetal position, crying from the acute onset of clinical depression I hear squealing. Well more squealing than normal (this crowd was the shrillest I've ever been too for adult ladies) and I realize "100 Monkeys" must be getting their stage together. So as I dust myself off and begin to pay attention I see some good looking, dorky men make their way on stage. I won't lie I've been attracted to Jackson more and more thanks to Jayems805's web site Rathgasm 101. But a talk drink of water named Ben Graupner has my undivided attention. Good Lawd, Ben G. is pretty and tall, and tall, and tall, with muscles and hands that are crazy. Phew! Back to the music.

The "100 Monkeys" were fantastic and very talented. I floved the fact that each of them played so many instruments and all had oppurutnities to sing lead. The band didn't focus around one individual, but it focused on the band as a whole. Since I'm ignorant to what song was what and couldn't hear the names of each song that they chose to tell you over the shrill of women screaming, I can't tell you at the moment which was my favorite. The one song I did know was "The Monkey Song" by Spencer Bell. I adore this song, so when they played a huge smile came upon my face.

In regards to the improv song the band does at each show, I was on a mission to get them to do a song titled, "Mustache Ride." Yeah, that didn't happen. Instead they did a song that I hate to admit I liked (because it wasn't titled, "Mustache Ride) called, "Leave Your Boots On." Check out the video:

Video retrieved from mandarella27

I seriously enjoyed the band, so much so I have a ticket to their next concert in NYC on July 16, 2011. I hope the crowd is different because I really wanted to junk punch some folks. Since I've been going to shows a long time I realize that people try to move up. Hey, if you see a space, a real space and you can get to it with stepping on toes and causing drama - go for it. However, if you see I have 2 inches between me and the next person and you push me out of the way to get yourself in that "space," I will call you on it and tell you to move. If you need to go to the bathroom and/or get a drink I have no problem letting you out and having you go back to your spot. Well a lot of the ladies had a major problem with that and there were arguments and screaming and "100 Monkeys" hadn't even began to play yet.

Other things that annoyed me about the crowd were a lot of them were only there because of Jackson. I get that he is a draw for many that attend, but I saw a lot of people solely looking at him the entire time. Other bandmates are singing and folks in the audience are only taking pictures of Jackson or filming Jackson's every move. I thought it was a bit disrespectful to the band. Some girls even screamed out when Jackson was introducing the band members "we don't care about them, only you."

My final straw was during the last song "100 Monkeys" played, two very drunk girls made their way over and began stepping all over my foot. Once, I can deal with, when it becomes repetitive we have problems. After asking her to please stop stepping on my foot, I literally had to grab the girl by the arms, shake her a bit, and tell her to stop stepping on me. She then tried to hug me while apologizing and suffocate me with her booze breath. Thank goodness she moved about two inches over, but she was still very annoying and committed a concert foul - she dropped her drink. Argh!!! Luckily, it didn't spill over me and my fancy grey dress and TOMS shoes.

If you want to listen to some good music from a talented band I say go and see "100 Monkeys." Hopefully, the crowd wont' be as bad as the one I was in.

Dang, I won't be winning the lottery this year!

2011-05-07T11:30:00.005-04:00

Image retrieved from Mrs. Natalie Tarot Card Readings

I was given the opportunity to receive a free reading with Psychic Source. I was uber stoked and a bit freaked out. I've only had two other readings done in my life and they weren't that pleasant. I had a woman perform a palm reading while I was in college. She informed me I was going to fall in love in the very near future with a classmate and we would get married and essentially live happily ever after. Okay awesome, but that meant that I was also going to realize that I was a lesbian. I went to an all woman's college. There were guys on campus who took classes, but they were never in any of my classes. So I guess that meant I was coming out, finding love, and getting hitched. Well none of those things happened.

The second reading I had done was from a friend. She looked at my life through Tarot cards. In short, her reading told me I was going to be broke forever. Can you talk about depressing? I was not a happy camper after that reading. So even though I was excited about the free reading, I was nervous because my life is in flux at the moment. I didn't have the best semester at school because some of my health issues took over my life for a bit. Which means I'll be in school for another year and that puts my move to Hawai'i on hold for a minute. I'm losing my job and I don't have one in sight, so that is stressing me out. I wasn't sure if I could handle hearing any bad news regardless if I was going to choose to believe it or not.

However, I bit the bullet and called Psychic Lousia, a Tarot card reader. I was immediately drawn to her profile when I began to research which psychics I wanted to talk to. But she wasn't available for any of the times I could to talk to her. But finally this morning I saw her line was open, so I gave her a call. I explained to her I was a semi-newbie to physic readings and didn't have any direct questions I had to ask. I wanted to just stick with the categories of career and finance and love and relationships.

We started with what will happen with career and finances over the next year. I wanted to begin with this topic area because these things have been weighing heavily on my mind. Three cards were pulled that told me that I was going need to prepare for change and challenge. I would rise above whatever comes my way and in a new opportunity I would rely on my previous skill set, but I would need to learn new things in a very short time. Also, nothing unexpected is coming my way. What comes in will be earned. My pentacle number was below average, a four. But I shouldn't worry because even though a Four of Pentacles came up, with the other cards it told Louisa that I was building a better financial foundation for myself. In all honestly, that is not what I wanted to hear in regards to my career and finances. I've been literally dreaming that I was going to win the lottery soon, for some time now. So to hear that no lottery winnings were coming my way was disappointing, but the overall outlook gives the impression that I will survive and I won't be living on the streets anytime soon.

Now, with love and relationships things were a bit more golden. Louisa informed me that I won't be having a dry run in dating. I didn't bother to tell her I wouldn't have a wet one either because I'm anti-dating. However, if what Lousia said is true I would have a lot of movement in my relationships. Settling for less would come to an end and big things in regards to the people in my life are coming my way. I just need to remember that I am strong, to rise above and be willing to make adjustments. To trust and have faith in myself, to try and do something for myself daily and that will help bring better people into my life.

I agree with her in regards to believing in myself and taking time for me. I didn't need her or Tarot cards to tell me that, but the reminder was nice. I enjoyed my reading with Louisa. It was general, like my categories and I'm okay with that. I'm fine with it because I'm still figuring out if I truly believe the things she said to me will happen or not. It will take me so time to fully process everything she said, but as of now I'm happy that I did the reading. Louisa was kind, efficient, and willing to explain things that I didn't fully understand. If I was gifted with another opportunity to have a reading done with Psychic Source, I would have the reading done with Louisa again.

If you like to have a reading done on Psychic Source, they have a deal for new members were you can pay $1 a minute for up to 30 minutes. Since I was gifted the reading, my reading cost $2.95 a minute and it was approximately 12 minutes long.

Disclaimer: Psychic Source readings are for entertainment purposes only.

Disclosure: This is sponsored post, for my review I was gifted a 10 minute psychic reading.

Freebie Friday: Discovery Times Square - Pompeii The Exhibit

2011-05-06T17:01:00.007-04:00

Image retrieved from the Discovery Times Square Pompeii the Exhibit web site.

Want to experience Pompeii in a unique way? How about for free? Well lucky for you all I've been given the opportunity to present two of my readers with a pair of passes, along with a 10% discount at the gift shop at the Discovery Times Square, Pompeii The Exhibit.

I'm really excited about this giveaway because being the nerd that I am, I get to help spread my love of history to you all. Pompeii the Exhibit is "more than a museum" it gives guests the ability to connect to people and a place by immersing you in the time before and after the eruption 2,000 years ago (Pompeii The Exhibit tumblr page).

I was lucky enough to speak with Kristin Romey, curatorial consultant to Discovery Times Square. Kristin informed me that Pompeii the Exhibit "puts things in context." The exhibit is very different from a museum, the viewer doesn't need to be "familiar with the culture...because its more than just objects." The guest is shown "how little life has changed from 2000 years ago to today." When you arrive you see body casts ("human impressions created from cavities found in the volcanic matter"), some original some replicated because the original cast was too fragile to make the trek over. You capture the daily life in Pompeii, you get to experience an immersive movie and a Pompeian brothel room. This exhibit, this journey is something I believe should not be missed.

Regardless if you live in the New York City area or not, this giveaway isn't just for the locals, it's for anyone who plans to be in New York City before September 5, 2011. That gives the winners the whole summer and then some to make plans.

How to enter:

1. Leave a comment below. That's it! You leave a comment you have a shot.

If you want extra entries, do the following and leave a comment for EACH one you do!!!

1. Follow @misstejota on twitter (include your twitter handle in the comment).

2. Follow this blog (include your username in the comment).

3. Send out the following tweet: "I just entered the @DiscoveryTS Pompeii The Exhibit #giveaway (free passes and discount at gift shop) at http://bit.ly/kPVe0d." (include URL to the tweet in your comment).

4. Like "Chronicles of a fat girl named Miss TeJota" on Facebook (include your initials from your fb handle in the comment).

5. Follow @DiscoveryTS on twitter (include your twitter handle in the comment).

Remember leave a comment for each and every entry type you choose to do. You have until 11:59 EST on Thursday, May 12, 2011 to enter. Winners will be selected using the True Random Number Generator on random.org.

Before you rush off to enter I wanted to let you know that Kristen Romey every Wednesday does a Q&A on the Discovery Times Square Facebook page. Kristin answers your questions regarding Pompeii The Exhibit and Pompeii. I'll make sure to let you all know if she will be able to provide Q&A's days on Discovery Times Square Twitter account one day.

Also I wanted to provide you with a fun fact about beauty in Ancient Pompeii from Kristin, "As a woman in ancient Rome, the higher your social status, the more makeup you probably wore: foundation, blush, shadow and eyeliner. Certain cosmetics, especially those from France or the far East, became so expensive that they were actually banned by the conservative Roman government. This prohibition, of course, spurred the development of cheap Canal-Street style makeup and perfume knockoffs."

Disclosure: For doing this giveaway I was provided with a pair of passes to Discovery Times Square, Pompeii The Exhibit.

Freebie Friday: In a quest for an iPad.

2011-04-29T11:01:00.002-04:00

Some of you know that I'm all about the giveaways and winning free stuff. Lately I've been on the quest to win an iPad.

Here is information about the iPad 2 contests I've entered:

Contest 1 - The Centsible Life and CheckNGo Giveaway:

The lovely Centsible Life, a blog I retrieve a lot of financial savings tips from, was gifted an iPad 2 for her readers from CheckNGo. As one of the ways to get 10 extra entries for the giveaway was to do a blog post about the contest on her site. 10 extra entries, I'm on it as you all can see. But posting about the contest also gives me a chance to let others know about the goodness that is her site, as well as let you know about the contest she is doing. To enter for yourself and possibly win please go here: http://bit.ly/TCLiPad.

Contest 2 - FabulousSavings.com School’s Out!: The Fabulous iPad2 Contest – College Edition!:

FabulousSavings.com has been doing a bunch of giveaways as of late. They gave away an iPad 2 not to long ago, is in the process of handing out another one, as well as some gift cards. As if those giveaways weren't enough they now added an iPad 2 giveaway geared towards college and university students. I'm also all on this. So for all you college and university students get to entering. Details of how to enter can be retrieved on the FabulosSavings.com blog.

If you enter either or both - Good luck!!!

Just Dance 2 Winner

2011-04-29T09:51:00.000-04:00

Image retrieved from videogamesblogger.com

I love giveaways. Out of 10 entries, random.org chose the #3. The lucky winner is Twi-Lin.

Congratulations Twi-Lin!!! You have 48 hours to respond to my tweet or another winner will be selected.

Wordless Wednesday: The Doctor and Albert E.

2011-04-27T22:01:00.000-04:00

Setback, but all is well.

2011-04-26T11:31:00.000-04:00

In the quest to lose 100 pounds I had a bit of a setback. I gained 6 pounds since my last post asking for support in the my journey to get healthy and wise in 2011. I'm not stressing over the fact that I gained weight, it was to be expected. I went to LA and ate every unhealthy thing known to man. Mostly in the form of two of my favorite food items - chicken fried steak and bacon.

Being that I was on vacation I was a hot mess of unhealthy eats and massive gluten consumption. However I'm home and I'm getting back on track. The gluten consumption is over and healthy eating has started again. Luckily for me I found out the organization that runs my CSA also has a Center for Healthy Living. I'm truly excited about this because the yearly membership is $75 and you can take as many classes as you want and they only ask that you support them via donations. For me this is a true blessing.

As many of you know that I'm losing my job at the beginning of next month and I don't have another one lined up as of yet. So to be able to still take total body conditioning, yoga, pilates, and Zumba classes at a pay scale that I can afford is truly amazing. I have no excuses, the center is within a 5 minute walk from my house. So even though money will be tight I'll still be able to eat healthy and get fit. w00t!!!

Music Monday - The Head and the Heart

2011-04-25T18:59:00.002-04:00

Image retrieved from Sound on the Sound

Up until recently there wasn't an artist and/or a band that moved me to the point that I could listen to only their songs for days on end and not get bored. The Head and the Heart (THATH) became the band that changed that feeling for me. I became aware of THATH from my sister from another mother (and father) @Kitty_Elvis (KE).

KE has been telling me on and off about THATH since a visit to Seattle in the fall 2010. Me, being me, I procrastinated and didn't bother to look into the band. Finally after another email and a link I gave a the band a listen. I was immediately pissed that I didn't listen to KE from the beginning. I could have been listening to this glorious band since last year instead of just for the last few months. Besides being a fantastic musicians with lyrics that move my being, it is a band filled with amazing facial hair (mustaches galore) and a woman so pretty and talented she inspires me to be a better musician.

THATH are comprised of five members: Charity Rose Thielen (vocals, violin, percussion), Chris Zasche (bass), Josiah Johnson (vocals, guitar, percussion), Jonathan Russell (vocals, guitar, percussion), Kenny Hensley (piano), and Tyler Williams (drums). Some are Seattle area natives others are transplants. Their combined musical journey starts at meeting each other at Conor Bryne Pub in Seattle, WA. The detailed in and outs of how they got together I can't discuss, but I am grateful they met and became a band. There hasn't been a day in the last three months that I haven't listened to at least 3 or 4 of their songs.

Luckily for me when I went to SXSW I was blessed to be able to see THATH perform live at a Dickies Party on March 17, 2011. I was giddy beyond belief to finally see the band that I had become obsessed with in person. Other folks were concerned with celebrating St. Patrick's Day, I was focused on getting up as close as possible to the band. I had no voice, but I was ready to silently sing along, while shaking my tail feather and doing a bit of jig. THATH were utter perfection, the audience was engrossed and excited. With each song they played I got more and more amped, but a bit sad because each song they played made me aware that their set was getting closer to ending.

I don't have a favorite song from their self-titled debut album, because I love them all equally. Each song has me singing aloud much to the chagrin of my neighbors and fellow pedestrians on the streets of NYC. But I leave you with their goodness via some live performances. If THATH stops through your town I suggest you go see and witness greatness before you.

"Down In The Valley" via kexpradio

"Cats and Dogs & Coeur D'Alene" via kexpradio

You can learn more about THATH on their facebook page.

You can follow them on twitter: @headandtheheart.

You can buy their self-titled debut album on iTunes, Sup Pob!, or on Amazon.

Thanks again to Ms. Kitty Elvis and Randall A "THE MAN" Walker for blessing me with the introduction to"The Head and the Heart." Your enlightenment have made my days better.

Saturday Fluff - JGL

2011-04-23T23:56:00.001-04:00

The lovely folks of LA tonight get to experience Joseph Gordon-Levitt at hitRECord at the movies. Since I can't and some of you can't attend, I'll present to you all something those lucky and lovely folks may experience tonight:

Joseph Gordon Levitt, Sean Lennon, and Yuka Honda of Cibo Matto perform "Nebulullaby" via peoplelikemeshop

Freebie Friday: Just Dance 2

2011-04-22T23:49:00.002-04:00

Image retrieved from videogamesblogger.com

I'm super small time in the big blogger world so I don't get gifted items to give out to my readers. Womp! Womp! However, I do on occasion win ~~a crap load of vibrators~~ things or just by plain luck receive free stuff for just being wonderful, awesome me. That is exactly what happened, I'm awesome and I received an extra copy of "Just Dance 2" and the company decided to let me keep the extra copy (I'm still shocked by this). w00t!!! So I'm giving the extra copy to one of you all. The entry is easy, see below:

How to enter:

1. Leave a comment below. That's it! You leave a comment you have a shot.

If you want extra entries, do the following and leave a comment for EACH one you do!!!

1. Follow @misstejota on twitter (include your twitter handle in the comment).

2. Follow this blog (include your username in the comment).

3. Send out the following tweet: "Freebie Friday: Just Dance 2 #Giveaway (http://bit.ly/misstejotaApr222011) by @misstejota" (include URL to the tweet in your comment).

4. Like "Chronicles of a fat girl named Miss TeJota" on Facebook (include your initials from your fb handle in the comment).

Remember leave a comment for each and every entry type you choose to do. If you don't follow the rules, I won't contact and let you know that you didn't. You have until 11:59 EST on Thursday, April 28, 2011 to enter.

Good Luck!!!

*As the supplier of this giveaway I will pay shipping and handling for the winner.

Getting more exposure

2011-04-21T15:12:00.003-04:00

Nope, I'm not going to pull an Erykah Badu and get nekkid in the streets like she did in the video "Window Seat." I'm just letting others know outside of twitter and tumblr that I have a web site. I finally started a facebook page. I probably set it up wrong and will be reading another set of articles to fix it, but regardless here it is: http://on.fb.me/misstejotafbpage.

I hope you all go and "LIKE" me.

Wordless Wednesday: Sofa Hog

2011-04-20T23:45:00.001-04:00

Pretty

2011-04-19T23:50:00.001-04:00

This isn't a post to get folks to tell me what they think of my appearance or how the inside of a person is just as important of the outside. It's a post to discuss the struggle I have with the term pretty as of late.

I've confessed here that I didn't receive many compliments growing up. I shared that I wasn't showered with praise on how wonderful I was or how attractive I was. Those lack of compliments made it difficult for me to accept them later on. I know it's my issue and I work on it everyday. I'm learning to be gracious and just say thank you even if I don't feel exactly like what the person is referring to at the moment they are giving me a compliment.

I'm unsure what has changed within me or if I'm just being more aware, but I've received a bunch of compliments as of late in regards to my appearance. I'll talk about two here. In the Houston airport this past weekend a woman walked up to me and told me that I was, "so pretty...If she could pull of being bald or having very, very short hair she would." I was gracious and thanked her for kind words and I actually believed them at that moment. I was feeling quite cute that day so it was so easy to accept her compliment. However, immediately after she approached me and was so kind, she spilled most of her Jamba Juice all over the floor. World, seriously, you needed to throw that bit of drama into the mix.

You needed to bring me up only to make me think maybe she wasn't being sincere. Or you needed to let me know that you world don't agree. I thought it was totally crappy how it happened. Here I am minding my own business and this woman comes from across the room to pay me a compliment only to get her treat taken from her. That sucks ass. Then later in the weekend when I'm feeling like crap, a hot mess of a reject Patsy Cline drag queen (yes, an actual drag queen named Patsy Cline) and her drunk friend feel the need to tell how pretty I am while touching me, kissing me, hugging me, and putting one dirty thumb on my mouth. Oh, to make matters worse the drunk friend asked me if I needed a "bump." The man asked me if I needed cocaine because I was tired.

Yeah, I'm "so" feeling these compliments. If this is what will happen majority of the time someone wants to pay me a compliment on my looks, world, keep the compliments. I so don't need them nor the drama that comes along with it.

Music Monday: Coachella vs. SXSW

2011-04-18T21:03:00.000-04:00

If I had unlimited funds I would attend Bonnaroo, Coachella, Sasquatch, and SXSW. But since my dollars are very limited I opted to only attend Coachella and SXSW (without a badge) this year. I think one will have a wonderful time regardless of which festival you decide to attend. If you haven't been to either below are some points I think you should know from my first-timer experience.

At SXSW you have the opportunity to listen to some unsigned, underground, and/or upcoming bands, as well as see very established artists perform. You can see the same band perform over and over again at different venues if you wished. Since your are not confined to one space and if you have the means to do so, you can leave downtown Austin to go explore and make your way back and hopefully find parking in a garage, lot, or at your hotel. Because SXSW is filled with many sponsored events you are able to see some bands and artists perform for free and receive booze, drinks, and food for just showing up. SXSW is more than just music, it is also an interactive and film festival.

At Coachella since everything is located in one massive venue you never really have to worry about not being able to see any band or artist perform. If there is overlap with your choices, you just leave one tent and hop to the next tent or stage, never having to worry about getting into a venue that has reached it's capacity.

At SXSW if you decide to not purchase a badge or wristband there is a very good chance you won't make it into an non-sponsored event and you will have to pay a cover that can range from $10 to $60. Many performances are limited to badge and wristband holders only. The lines into events are crazy long regardless of your credentials. Even with a badge you aren't guaranteed access because once a space reaches capacity badge holder or not, you aren't getting in. For many to help ensure that didn't happen they purchased express line passes which put them in front of all non-holders. Badges start at $500 and go up. Wristbands are around $250.

At Coachella all of your musical acts perform outside and it is hot, it's the desert folks and you are in the middle of it. Even if you see a performance in a tent, you will sweat. Getting free water is a pain and quite stinking. Most of the free hydration centers are located next to the porta-potties. And you may have to use porta-potties. They have nicer ones, that look and feel like bathrooms with running water, but the lines for those can be quite long. Almost everything you have to pay for. There aren't sponsored events on site that are gifting you free booze and food. Wristbands start at $270.

There are pros and cons to both, but in the end I preferred my time at Coachella. Next year as much as I would love to attend the film portion of SXSW I think I'm just going to spend money on a VIP wristband for Coachella.

Coachella: Day Three

2011-04-17T23:58:00.007-04:00

The final day, total sadness. Coachella has been amazing. Great friends, great music, just a good time to be had.

This day started later than the rest, but it was amazing. We arrived around 4:40 PM just enough time to get onto the grounds to line up and see Ellie Goulding's performance. My knowledge of Ellie was limited. I knew the song "Starry Eyed" and what she looked like since we shared a bench at SXSW. I was told repeatedly that she was utterly amazing and I needed to go and check her out live. I missed her All Saints in-store performance a couple of weeks ago in NYC so I was determined to see her at Coachella. And I'm truly glad I did. The woman is uber talented. She sings, plays the percussion, guitar, and piano. Here are a couple of videos to show you just how wonderful she is:

"Starry Eyed" via elliegoulding

"Guns and Horses" via EllieGouldingVEVO elliegoulding

Seeing Ellie was a great way to top off my final day of Coachella, but seeing Duran Duran just made the three days friggin' EPIC!!! I flove Duran Duran. I would be happy if I could spend hours just staring at John Taylor. He is utter perfection. But back to the band as a whole, Duran Duran is truly the band that makes you want to party. While they were performing I got teary-eyed watching them again. It has been years since I've seen them live. It was an emotional experience for me. Their music is such a part of my being. I was so happy they were performing this year. "Hungry Like a Wolf" is one of my favorite songs (see the video below). I use to pretend I was the woman in the video, even had a whole dance routine made up to this song, including song effects. In my opinion, "Rio" hands down is one of the best albums of all time.

via emi
The night closed out with amazing performances by The Strokes and Kayne West. I'm a huge fan of both even though Julian Casablancas lead vocals of The Strokes and Kayne at times have been known to be douchebags. I try to tell myself they are geniuses and socially delayed therefore they don't know any better. I know that isn't the case, but it makes me feel better.
The Strokes were to the point, playing great music. They were fantastic and the video feed on the large screens for the performance was uh-mazing. The video didn't follow the band around during each song, but instead did some shots of the band members performing mixed in with majority odd shots of feet movement and or sound and amp adjustments. Hands, microphones, red plastic cups were put on display. The feed gave you a look at every small detail of the show and that drew me further into their performance. The simplicity of it all made me realize how much I missed The Strokes and how I can't wait to hear more and more from them.
Kayne was amazing. It was theatrics from beginning to end. It was ladened with emotion and honesty. I feel that Kayne puts his all into his performances. He entertained us with dancers, fireworks, and killer tracks. The crowd was massive. His performance was the only one going on and everyone was there on the field to see it. It was great to see the diversity of folks who were enamored by Kayne. It was amazing to hear folks screaming his songs at the top of their lungs. Kayne ended Coachella brilliantly.
I encourage you all to YouTube search many of the acts that performed at Coachella, if not all then some portions of their sets are online.
Now what Coachella post would not be complete without a list of celebrities spotted on the final day (most within tackle distance from): Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Aziz Ansari, Leonardo DiCaprio, Darren Criss, Shaun White, Brian Posehn, Xavier Samuel, Nick Simmons, and the perfect woman Dita Von Teese. However, the highlight was being 5 feet away from Alexander Skarsgard. He is truly beautiful and I admit that I might have fangirled a ~~lot~~ bit when I saw him.

Coachella: Day Two

2011-04-16T23:59:00.005-04:00

Jeebus, could it have been any hotter. As I got off the shuttle and stepped out onto the grounds were Coachella is being held I was immediately sweating, I needed good tunes to push me through. Gogol Bordello is first up to see. They are an infectious band and the need to bob my head is immediate. They played "Start Wearing Purple" and the crowds around gott up and begin to dance. I bet you feel the need to move as well:

via BlankTV

Gogol Bordello helped me get over the fact that we didn't try to gain entrance into the VIP area today. I was filled with envy for those with better food options that were sitting on the other side of the fence.

Erykah Badu was up next. I was excited to see her perform. It's been a while and I was unsure what to expect. But she had a soulfoul set even though it was filled with some technical issues. I swayed, I reminiscence when "On and On" came on. I wished she performed, "Call Tyrone," but she didn't so a video of another live performance of it will have to do for now:

via cherubim321

Erykah's set ran long, so the powers that be cut her sound. She was gracious about it, because other acts needed to set-up and the show must go on. At the end of her set we made our way over to see a bit of Jenny and Johnny. I wasn't super sure who they were, but a couple of songs in I realized I had heard of them and knew that after Coachella I needed to invest in some of their music. After their set we just milled around and listened to a bit of Yelle and Elbow. Yelle was more so up my speed. The crowd watching them danced non-stop. It was fun to watch and be near.

Bright Eyes were performing, so we went and camped out in front of the VIP area. Directly in front of where we set yesterday in heaven. You know that heaven that had us standing next to the famous folks - HA! Regardless, Bright Eyes demanded my attention, sulking wasn't an option. Bright Eyes equals happiness.

Mumford & Sons were after. And good Lawd do they put on an amazing show. I was shaking and moving. I wished they could have performed for another hour or more. They could have sang the alphabet and I would have been happy. Absolutely, fantastic. I need to go and see them live again sometime soon.

Next up was Animal Collective. They are weird and I love them. However, I love them in short spurts. They're hour and ten minute set was too long at 10 PM for me. Don't get me wrong Animal Collective is genius, I so recogninze the brilliance I just wasn't in the right mind set.

Arcade Fire was the final act of my evening. And after seeing Win Butler walk by during the Bright Eyes set and me totally spazzing out and basically beating my friend to death in my excitement I was pumped. Start to finisth this band brought it. I flove them! I was so glad they were performing, I was up and moving their entire set. And who doesn't love a show that ends out with massive ballons being dropped out on the crowd.

In closing another perfect day even though it was hella hot. And because I know folks want to know (and I'm willing to share) here are the celebs or reality TV stars we spotted that were in tackle hug distance or standing next to me: Win Butler, Rob Kardashian, Matthew Rhys, dreamy and "I'm to young to be this hot" Nick Simmons, and Camilla Belle (so friggin' pretty). Leonardo DiCaprio and Lukas Haas were standing right behind me. We were seperated by a fence, but thats just semantics. Aziz Ansari walked by a few of times and also saw Usher, Alia Shawkat, and Kiowa Gordon.

Coachella: Day One

2011-04-15T23:58:00.001-04:00

Coachella is amazeballs!

It might be a tad bit hot and I'm sure I'll need to hit the dermatologist to make sure that I didn't do any further damage to my sun damaged body, but I it was worth it. Arriving on the grounds of Coachella you see there is so much to take in. I'm too busy looking here and there to even think about busting out my camera. I know that is crazy to even contemplate, but I'm overwhelmed, excited, and shaky. So the picture taking is being given to someone else. Thank goodness!!!

Day One at Coachella was filled with some unexpected goodness. We were blessed with entry into the VIP area. Holy grace, mother of Jeebus was that lovely. We were able to use real bathrooms in trailers. If asked what the highlight of day one was - it was that! I mean no Porta-Potty. A toilet that flushes, a sink to wash your hands in. Frakkin' Heaven. Also, the VIP area had way better food than what was outside for the main event area. Once we realized we had been granted entrance into the Coachella Heaven I was NOT leaving. The folks I came with could come and go, but I was parking my arse down so I could experience bliss with real toilets, great food, and sit with celebrity's right out of Coachella's main stage.

So off in the VIP area we saw Cee Lo Green, Ms. Lauryn Hill, Interpol, The Black Keys, and Kings of Leon perform. Cee Lo Green only performed 4 songs because he just landed. The 4 songs he performed were great, but the real excitement came when the sound staff at Coachella cut his and the bands mics to get them off stage because their time was up. So you got to see his band still performing with no sound and Cee Lo storming off stage. Drama!!! Flove it!!

Lauryn Hill I was worried about. I've seen her perform in the past and if she is having an off day, as in if she is depressed her performance is hard to get through. She goes off on tangents, starts ranting, and just makes it no fun. But the moment she opened her mouth for this performance, I knew it was going to be golden. It was utterly fantastic. Her classic solo hits from the Grammy "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" along with Fugees classics were performed - she and her band truly brought it.

Interpol a band I'm ashamed to admit I wasn't familiar with even though they are from New York rocked it. I will be adding their music to my playlist for sure.

The Black Keys who I adore graced the stage not looking like 70's rocker dudes. They were hip and stuff. I wasn't prepared for it. But I was prepared for them to rock the house and they did so brilliantly. There performance had me on my feet swaying to the music, my booty was shaking. I was super happy. When they performed "Next Girl" I was overcome. That is one of my favorite songs, peep why:

via theblackkeys

And if The Black Keys weren't enough, Kings of Leon came on next to close out our day of brilliance. This is a band where I need to separate the artist from the art. I love their music, I'm just not a fan of them personally. Regardless, when they hit the stage I was happy. So happy that I even kept my cool when these drunk girls kept bumping into me, touching me, and talking very closely about how great this and that was. I can handle drunk folks, I've been one so I can't be too judgey, but Kings of Leon kept me check when this one girl started grinding the fence and in turn kept hip-checking me with every new sway of her non-rhythmic hips. And as usual once "Sex is on Fire" played, the place went bonkers. Something out the Kings of Leon brings out the crazy movements in folks and I loved every minute of it.

In closing the day was great. And I was even in the presence of a few celebrity's, like tackle hug distance or standing right next to. Vanessa Hudgens was the first celebrity we laid eyes on. This just tickled me pink. Also, we got to see Ethan Embry, TMZ stars Brandon Davis and Nikki Hilton, a MTV reality TV star whose name I don't know and can't be bothered to look up, and Kellan Lutz and his muscles.

LA: What! What!

2011-04-14T23:42:00.011-04:00

Getting to LA started with some drama as most of travel adventures do. I left my home 10 minutes late, but that's okay I decided to make up the time by not to stopping at the bodega to get a sandwich to take on the plane. As I get a block away I see my bus that was suppose to leave in 8 minutes traveling East away from me. Argh! My bus was early, the panic starts to set in because I realize the bus schedule is off. So I try to calm myself because all will be well (hopefully). 20 minutes and a few heavy sighs later another bus arrives. I have 45 minutes to get to the airport and check my luggage. It's going to be close.

Count in bad directions, my stupidity, and the slowest family alive I checked my luggage in 3 minutes after the cutoff time. Oops! This means my luggage most likely won't make my flight and there is no clue when it would arrive in LA. After checking with customer service at my layover stop of Houston, Texas I find out that my luggage is MIA. Ugh! I'm trying not to stress, but that's hard for a worrywart like myself. However, the heavens above had another plan and somehow my luggage got on my flight and I left LAX with everything I went into LGA with. w00t!!!

Rental car acquired, two friends in tow, we head to the most important place to go - In-N-Out Burger. Craziness is In-N-Out, it is filled to the max, so after a bit of a wait we sit down to munch on some amazing gluten-filled goodness. Gut filled we head over to Griffith Observatory. I'm in geek heaven. Science, science, science!!! I had the best time. Even saw a celebrity - Vanessa Hudgens. I wasn't excited about Miss Hudgens, but I did want to ask her if Nikki Reed was going to be at Coachella. Of all the Twilight folks Nikki is my favorite. However, I didn't ask, but I did hear the question in regards to Vanessa, "What's the big whoop?!?" Which made me giggle and snort like a school girl.

Well Los Angeles, CA goodbye for now, tomorrow I'll be at Coachella. But no worries I'll be back very soon.

Wordless Wednesday - 6 AM Productivity

2011-04-13T10:17:00.002-04:00

100 pounds

2011-04-12T14:50:00.000-04:00

Many of you have read me complain about my health issues on this blog. One of the most annoying of those issues are my joint problems. My joint issues are mostly due to the fact that my body frame can't handle the extra weight that I am carrying. Years of being obese has taken it's toll on my body. I recently went to the doctor and received once again another stern lecture about how I need to lose at least 100 pounds.

The idea of losing a 100 pounds is so daunting to me. I would like to lose the weight without any surgical aids. But, I can't seem to keep my butt into gear to do so. One of the things I've been trying to do as of late to help me just feel better in general is be gluten free. I'm not eliminating gluten for dieting purposes, I'm doing it because I'm gluten intolerant. Lucky for me one of the happy side effects of treating your body better is weight loss. I'm not always successful, but my gluten intake is significantly less and I know that is the main reason I've lost 8 pounds over the last 45 days.

So I write about the weight loss attempt to put it out there, to state this is something I'm trying to do. I need support, so I'm asking for it. I can't lose this weight on my own. I need tips, encouragement, healthy and wise in life buddies. Can some of you please be a support system for me?

Music Monday - Walk the Moon

2011-04-11T11:21:00.006-04:00

During SXSW 2011 I met the band "Walk the Moon" while hanging out in the artist alley of the Spin Magazine Lounge with @EarplugsNotIncl. I was told they were one of the darlings of SXSW and if we could we should go and check them out. Unfortunately, it didn't work out so I never got to see them perform while there. Randomly, on Wednesday, April 6, 2011 the band popped into my head. I immediately went to the Interwebs to learn a bit more about them. I came across the below video for their song, "Anna Sun" and was immediately smitten.

"Anna Sun" via walkthemoonband

I had to find out if they were going to be performing in NYC and lucky (and also unlucky) for me they were performing the next night at 11 PM at Tammany Hall. I already had plans to see "That Championship Season" on the same night so it was going to be tight. I was hoping I could take the train, but I didn't finish up with cast signings of the "That Championship Season" until 10:30 PM, so I needed to take a taxi. Ugh! Money I didn't want to spend, but when I walked into the venue at 11:07 PM and saw "Walk the Moon" under strobe lights with face paint on rocking out it became money well spent.

"Walk the Moon" a band from Cincinnati, Ohio are energetic, crowd engaging, and fantastic musicians. Their performance was utter perfection. I was unfamiliar with most of their songs, but their music is so good you automatically start shaking your booty and bobbing your head. At this performance, they played quite a few songs from their album "I Want! I Want!" They also performed a new track titled "Tightrope." Which Nicholas, the lead singer informed wasn't a Janelle Monae remake - Total cuteness. Often times when a crowd is familiar with an artists work they aren't to keen on hearing songs they haven't heard before. This was not the case with "Walk the Moon." The crowd was just as enthused by the new song which many didn't know the lyrics to as they were with the songs they knew by heart.

As if I wasn't already in falling in love with "Walk the Moon" they dug themselves a little bit further into my heart by performing "Let's Dance," by David Bowie. I flove that song. And if you frak it up there is no coming back in my mind. But they didn't. I urge you to learn more about the band, buy their record, and if they come to a city near you, put your face paint on and go see them.

Here are two more places you can get further information about the band: facebook and twitter.

I'll leave you with their live performance of "Anna Sun" at SXSW.

via ifc

PC Issues

2011-04-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

Forgive me all, but I'm having PC issues and my blog posts are all messed up. So, until I can get to another computer or figure out what the issue is with this one I'm on a posting break. I think the former will happen by Tuesday. Sorry y'all.

Doctor Who Cast Meet

2011-04-09T22:18:00.000-04:00

via @LisaMcMullan

On Friday, April 8, 2011, I was lucky enough to attend the Barnes and Noble Doctor Who Fifth Series DVD signing. Cast members, Arthur Darvill (Rory Williams), Karen Gillan (Amy Pond), and Matt Smith (The Doctor) were in attendance. I was giddy with anticipation. I was going to see Doctor Who goodness up close. I needed to know if Matt Smith's hair is as dreamy in person as it is on TV. It was a must to know if Karen Gillian was actually tall. It was imperative to find out if Arthur Darvill is dorkable as I think he is. And lucky for me all these things were true.

However, other things came to light. Karen is so ridiculously pretty she makes your eyes hurt. I mean it's wrong to stare at someone that good looking directly in the eyes. She also has a wonderful fashion sense. Karen complimented my bow tie necklace that @kitty_elvis made for me, she sated it "was very cool." Squee!!! Matt appears to be very much like me, easily distracted. Have you seen "Up?" If so, Matt is like the dogs in that movie, "Squirrel!" And Arthur is my new crush. Seriously, he is so dreamy and sweet. He is very comfortable with himself even in an environment as hectic as that. He asked me how I was doing and such and I just about died. If it was socially acceptable to tackle hug folks you don't know I would have tackled hugged him in a heartbeat. This is saying a lot, because I'm not into physical affection.

Getting to meet and see the cast up close and in person was the one of the most amazing few seconds of my life. I'm glad I woke up early, it was well worth it.

Also, a HUGE thank you goes out Lisa McMullan for blessing me with this image. She was at the press event prior to the signing and was able to take better photos.

Freebie Friday - Discounts and Giveaways

2011-04-08T18:09:00.000-04:00

So if you are in the mood for discounts I suggest you head over to the "For the Mommas" web site. Everyday this woman blesses us with all kinds of goodness. Her current Freebie Friday list includes free samples, free Kindle eBooks, and more. "For the Mommas" is a site I visit daily. I've been blessed with some extra money in my pocket thanks to her constantly searching for the good deal I didn't even know I needed or wanted. Don't let the title of the web site deter you, she has a bit of something for everyone.

In regards to giveaways here are the ones I'm currently entering. If you enter any, good luck:

1. ZAGG Dialy iPad Giveaway. Zagg has been giving away an iPad everyday since February 1, 2011. I'm unsure why they have so many, but I'm happy they do. It's a super easy contest to enter. Just visit their site here and check the bottom right hand corner. A little sign will prompt you towards the entry screen for the iPad Giveaway. As long as they have iPad's to give away they will continue the contest.

2. Fabulous Savings iPad 2 Giveaway: Fabuloussavings.com is one of my favorite sites to go to for coupon codes and private discounts. To celebrate them reaching 5000 followers on twitter they decided to giveaway another iPad 2. It's also a very simple giveaway.Go to their main page and look at the merchants listed under "Featured Merchants." Click on the merchants and one of them will have the pop-screen for the iPad 2 giveaway tweet. All you need to do is tweet once or once everyday of the contest period from the featured merchant prompt and you are good to go. Note, the last winner only entered once and he won. Lucky bastard!

Happy savings and I'll be doing a giveaway soon.

Venturing Out

2011-04-07T15:44:00.001-04:00

As many of you know I been traveling quite a bit over the past few months. I wanted to take advantage of traveling while my body could handle it and before I move back to Hawai'i. As I explore all the great things of North America, I kind of forgot about my own backyard. So I'm venturing out in NYC; exploring this great city once again, but on the cheap.

Rush, lottery, and the Theatre Development Fund are my favorite ways to see shows. Without many theaters and organizations providing cheaper options I couldn't have seen shows like, "Driving Miss Daisy," "How to Succeed...," and "Lombardi." This morning I needed to meet a friend at 8:30 AM to stand in line for rush for "That Championship Season." It was a struggle making it out this morning, but I did and was able to score two tickets to tonight's show at $29 a piece. Honestly, we didn't have any competion, we were the only ones there. However, it didn't matter, I got to spend some time with a great friend. I was able to enjoy a hot grande Starbucks Vanilla Soy Creamer. Scout out approximate rush ticket amounts for other shows in the area, as well as stop by Forever 21 plus size store and pick up some much needed tights for $4.80 a pop. w00t!!!

Now seeing "That Championship Season" should have been enough for my agenda tonight, but nope why not try to squeeze in a concert. When I was in SXSW I met a band in the Spin Artist Lounge called "Walk the Moon." I wanted to see one of their sets while we were there, but it didn't work out. Randomly yesterday the band popped into my brain and I decided to search them out and learn a bit more about them. I ran across a few of their videos on YouTube and was immediately enamored. I checked their tour schedule and saw they are performing tonight at Popshop at Tammany Hall. I figured I was going to have to miss them once again.

I couldn't let it go. I needed to see them. Turns out they are performing at 11 PM, so I'm going to fight the crowds after the play, hop on a train and make my way downtown for some good music. I will be dead tomorrow, but it will be so worth it.

I leave you all with some "Walk the Moon" goodness.

"Anna Sun" via walkthemoonband

Wordless Wednesday - The Head and The Heart, SXSW 2011

2011-04-06T09:23:00.001-04:00

FanFiction Contest - A Curvaceous and Bodacious Bombshell Fic Contest

2011-04-05T12:33:00.001-04:00

As some of you know I like to read fanfiction. I love seeing others take on their favorite stories, whether it's "Doctor Who," "Torchwood," "Twilight," or "Star Trek." I give the good, the great, and the bad a read. One of my favorite fanfiction authors, Einfach Mich made me aware of the Fanfiction Contest, "Hot'n' Heavy Lovin': A Curvaceous and Bodacious Bombshell Fic Contest." I was moved and agreed with her post on her blog discussing her views and this contest and felt the need to share the news with you all.

Hot'n' Heavy Lovin': A Curvaceous and Bodacious Bombshell Fic Contest

Ladies and gents, "it's time we embrace curvaceousness rather than view it as a consolation prize. Bring us your BootyliciousRoses, your VoluptuEsmes, your Bombshellas, and your CurvyLeahs! We're looking for stories that showcase your best curvy ladies, to celebrate, not berate. We aren't interested in demonizing skinny ladies - we love and respect women of all shapes and sizes - but right now, we want to hump the curvy ones! The idea of this contest is to promote fic with curvy women, so it won't be anonymous."

PLEASE PROMOTE YOUR ENTRY AND THE CONTEST.

SCHEDULE:
Open for Submission: March 8, 2011
Closed for Submission: April 12, 2011
Public Voting begins: April 13, 2011
Public Voting closes: April 27, 2011
Prizes and Awards announced: May 4, 2011

I truly hope some of you enter. I can't wait to read the submissions, I'm sure I'll become a fan of some wonderful writers.

Also, please go over and check out Einfach Mich's stories on fanfiction. I'm currently obsessed/pwned with her Alternate Universe/all human Edward and Leah story titled, "Confessions of a Difficult Women." It is honestly my favorite fanfiction story.

Music Monday - SXSW 2011

2011-04-04T22:03:00.001-04:00

On March 15, 2011 I ventured to Austin, Texas as a SXSW Music virgin. I was strapped down with my detailed Microsoft Excel Party Spreadsheet, SXSW music scheduler, hangover prevention supplements, and cash.

I was scared, but ready. I was staying with three folks who had successfully made their way through SXSW before. So I knew that if I was confused, they would be able to help a lady out. Luckily for me, I was so prepared that I didn't need much help other than getting suggestions for other bands to see that weren't on my list.

The only thing that was annoying was the fact that the lines were crazy, crazy long to receive your credentials for free events. The first night there we stood in line for 2 hours to get our badges to the Pure Volume House. My only saving grace was I RSVP'ed for a private party at the Pure Volume House for the same night and they let me jump out of the badge line and hop into the private party line and get the badges and the stamps at the same time. That saved us another hour and a half in line.

Standing in line would be my theme of SXSW for me. Anything I needed to do, I needed to stand in line. Even in my hotel room, I had to stand in line for the bathroom because shared a room with 4 other women. The Fader Fort FIAT badge line was the absolute worse; three hours out in the sun and dirt, listening to the most annoying people on the Earth converse. I was ready to murder by the time we got the wristband, but instead settled for drinking and watching British bands. I know next year I will not attend SXSW unless I get a badge. Some venues were charging between $10 - $60 covers and without the badge you had to wait forever for a possibility of seeing a couple of songs from the artists, if that at all. I don't mind paying a cover, but not $60 to see an artist that I could see for a longer set in NYC at a better venue, for cheaper.

Free party RSVP's were my savior even if I had to deal with disorganization. I was able to see some of my favorite bands for free because I bothered to RSVP and arrive at the event early. Arriving early got me into events faster and got me free booze and food a plenty before the remainder of the folks made their way over. Out of all the free parties I went to, the SPIN Party at Stubb's was the most organized and offered the most swag. I was more than a bit tipsy from all the Sparks beverages I consumed there. It's no FourLoko, but they were the cause of a three hour nap after the party.

Below are all the artists and bands I was desperate to see because I'm such a huge frakkin' fan. Only the linked ones were seen and might I mention again for FREE:

Akina Adderley & The Vintage Playboys, Blue October, Bobby Long, Bombay Bicycle Club, Casiokids, Cee Lo Green, City and Colour, Cold War Kids, Cults, Flogging Molly, Foo Fighters, Foster the People, Givers, Har Mar Superstar, James Vincent McMorrow, Kurt Vile And The Violators, Liz Phair, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Maggie Bjorklund, Man Man, MSTRKRFT, Noah and the Whale, Other Lives, Papercuts, Raphael Saadiq, Screaming Females, Sharon Van Etten, Surfer Blood, The Black Lips, The Dollyrots, The Head and the Heart, The Hot Moon, The Kills, The Naked and Famous, The Strokes, Those Darlins, Tig Notaro, Toro y Moi, Twin Atlantic, and White Arrows.

Many other artists and bands were seen. I could go on and on about them, but this post is getting kind of long and since I can discuss each band in future Music Monday posts I'll just provide a brief opinion. These are the other artists and bands I saw that generated the most response from me (positive or negative): We Barbarians (adored them), Grouplove (their live performance was very different from their recorded tracks and not in a good way), The Lonely Forest (they SO annoyed me), Friendly Fires (liked them), Theophilus London (liked him), James Blake (floved him), The Cool Kids (didn't meet my expectations based on their reviews), Deyarmond Edison (loved them, also I was excited to see part of Bon Iver and Megafaun), Off! (adored them), TV on the Radio (floved them), and The Vaccines (adored them).

In closing, I do want to attend SXSW again in 2012. I already started saving for badges (film and music). If you want to go with, let me know and we can start making some plans. Also, since I was blessed with some free downloads as of late, I'm going to do the same for you.

Click here to download "DNA" a song from The Kills upcoming album, "Blood Pressures."

Saturday Fluff - Torchwood: Season 4.

2011-04-02T23:37:00.000-04:00

Some of you may know that I'm ~~insanely obsessed~~ a tad bit enamored with the shows "Doctor Who" and "Torchwood." April and July 2011 will be two of my favorite months this year. On April 23, 2011, Season 6 of "Doctor Who" premieres on BBC America. I'm a giddy as a kid with Ceilac Disease eating a yummy gluten free cake.

Season 6 Countdown Widget

Now that we are in the month of April I can breathe easy and begin to watch all of the trailers and read snippets of information about the new season. I can just consume everything and not get the achy feeling because the show is too far away. However, "Torchwood" doesn't start until July 8th. I want to take a sneak peak at what is out there, but July is SO frakkin' far away. Everywhere I go, folks are asking have you read this or seen this in regards to the new season. And I have to answer with a pouty, "No!"

It totally sucks trying to be good. But today I broke. I sought out trailers for Season 4 of "Torchwood." And below is the first thing I found:

via prissyhalliwell

When I saw the above I just about died. I cheated and was rewarded. I sought and found this glorious piece of composed fiction. It's not the real Season 4 trailer, but if I could dream of what I would want to happen in Season 4 of "Torchwood." This would be it. So until June 8th, a month before "Torchwood" airs, this 33 seconds will help me ease my ache until I can get down to the knitty-gritty and find out what is in store for me in the season premiering on July 8th on Starz.

I'm back. Take 2!

2011-04-01T15:49:00.000-04:00

I'm a liar. I stated on March 14, 2011 I'm coming back to the Interwebs to share my ramblings with you once again after taking a bit of break due to some personal drama. The next day, I promptly flew to Austin, TX for SXSW and became bombarded with the insanity of trying to see all the bands I could, while trying not to die from a serious cold I could not seem to shake. So I took another break, tried to get my bearings, get my affairs in order and set a date to return to the Interwebs for good.

So here I am. The things that will come are some more giveaways; of course more vibrators, some Wii games, and some other surprises. Funny stories (I hope) of how my clumsiness can be quite entertaining for others and myself. Updates on my photography project "33 + 1," recaps of my musical adventures to SXSW and Coachella, and just others thoughts I would like to share.

I can't wait to start this adventure with you all again. You have all become so special to me and I learn something new and wonderful from each of you. You help me grow a bit more each day. I in turn hope that I can provide you all with something whether it is some insight, hope, or plain entertainment.

Let's begin again.

Hiatus

2011-03-28T00:33:00.001-04:00

Life has been throwing crap at me so I need to once again take a break from blogging. But, I'll be back on April 1, 2011 with tons of stories and ramblings to share with you all.

What's been going on.

2011-03-14T15:49:00.001-04:00

As many of you know I ventured from NYC to spend some time with friends in Vancouver, Seattle, and Portland. The trip was fantastic and much needed. However, my trip wasn't without health drama. A couple of days before I departed for Vancouver I came down with the stomach virus and was out for 3 days. Because my faulty immune system was further weakened due to the stomach virus, I caught a nasty cold that made me a petri dish of infestation for another few days. Lucky for me I have great friends who are lovely and let me turn their homes into my personal tissue basket.

On my trip to Vancouver I got to sight see, eat amazing food, shop, and see some Twilight sets. I didn't spot any cast members with my own eyes, but they were around. While I was in Seattle I got to spy the Escala Condominiums which was made even more famous by a fanfiction I haven't read titled, "Master of the Universe." My love of eating was further blessed with me finally eating at Lola (which is across the street from Escala) and Dick's Drive-In.

I also finally started working on crafts again. We made bags from books. Because I flove Patti Smith, I chose "Patti Smith: American Artist" as my book to transform. It is very cute and once my new hard drive is up, I'll upload pictures for you all to see. I also made a blue bow tie, that I'm going to turn into a necklace (to go with my burgundy bow tie necklace that @Kitty_Elvis made me) so I can show the world my love of "Doctor Who" #11 on a regular basis. All the craft projects got me motivated to knit, crochet, and be creative again. I'm currently on the hunt for a decent sewing machine that is around $100.

When we were en route to and from Portland we hit up set locations from Twilight. I got to watch my friends reenact certain scenes at Kalama high school, where they filmed scenes for Forks High School, cafeteria, and hospital scenes. I was a snotty mess so I declined, but tried to capture their fun on camera. We drove through St. Helena were they shot all the Port Angeles scenes and stopped at a cute diner where I got to have chicken fried steak. w00t! In Portland, I got stop by Powell's Books. We stood in a long line for almost two hours to obtain an insane amount of Voodoo Doughnut's. They were worth it. Actually all the gluten-filled items I consumed while away were worth it. The pounds not so much.

As my awesome trip came to a close I received some interesting and upsetting news about my health. I was presented with some options of what I wanted to do next and it involved having to quit school again this semester. I wasn't prepared to do that, so I'm pushing through. Emotionally, mentally, and physically I've been through the wringer. I had to take a step back from blogging because I didn't want this blog to become my format to discuss and dissect my next steps. I apologize for the absence and I missed writing and communicating with you all dearly.

Be prepared for some upcoming adventures. I head to SXSW tomorrow. I know it will be stressful, but it will be a great adventure to be had.

Posting Break

2011-02-25T12:06:00.000-05:00

So trying to keep up with posting while out of town, but it's been quite difficult. So for the interim I'll be taking a posting break. Will try to post when I can. Thanks for your understanding.

Wordless Wednesday - Old Blurry iPhone HOH photo

2011-02-23T23:36:00.000-05:00

Tree in the HOH Rainforest

Posting Break

2011-02-22T20:10:00.000-05:00

No official post today, trying to spend some quality time with folks on my last night in Seattle. Everyone enjoy their day.

Music Monday - Do you

2011-02-21T23:49:00.000-05:00

I'm here on vacation currently listening to some music. Artists that have come up so far, Cab Calloway, Rusted Root, Elvis, Randy Travis, Shakira, and Robert Pattinson. So I encourage you get your music player out and listen to some of your tunes and let the memories overtake you.

Spiritual Sunday - Quote Time

2011-02-20T23:32:00.001-05:00

I'm having such a great time and seeing so much on this vacation that I think it is best to leave the "fictional character I would like to..." post to another time.

In the interim I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

"A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Saturday Fluff - James Earl Jones does Bieber

2011-02-19T20:16:00.003-05:00

I FLOVE tumblr because you get to see goodies like James Earl Jones reciting the lyrics to Justin Bieber's "Baby."

James Earl Jones reading "Baby, Baby, Baby" by Justin Bieber via idbuyanewbmx
When I saw the above video I just about died. I love James Earl Jones and Bieber's music makes me happy and chair dance. However, when I came across the below mashup my life became complete.

Baby (MASHUP) - Bieber & James Earl Jones via binnyhur
I hope the above brings a bit of joy to your day as it did to mine.
Thanks to missdisgrace for bringing the James Earl Jones does Bieber video to my attention!

Vancouver Update

2011-02-18T15:24:00.002-05:00

Vancouver

Instead of Freebie Friday, I wanted to let you all know what is going on with my trip.

My vacation has started off simple because I'm under the weather. I'm hoping and praying that I don't pass my germs off onto my hostesses. So far, I haven't seen much of Yaletown, but what I have seen, I love and so does my wallet.

We started yesterday afternoon getting lunch at glowbal grill. Supposedly, Robert Pattinson has stated their Kobe meatballs are amazing. I wasn't influenced with what Pattinson thought, but was more crazed about the idea of a Kobe meatball. I'm obsessed with meatballs. Gawd, I love them and now that I can make them, I make them all the time. I'll have to agree with Pattinson, glowball's Kobe meatballs were perfection. They had a nice spicy bite to them and the meatball was garnished with a thai slaw that was delicious. I also had poutine.

The concept of poutine was rather frightening. C'mon, french fries topped with fresh cheese curds and gravy - Gross! I'm not a fan of cheese fries so this was a bit scary. However, if I was going to risk getting sick on gluten, why not go balls out. So glad I did go balls out. It was salty and yummy goodness. I wish the fresh cheese curds were melted a bit more, but I'll worry about that the next time I get them. Yep, there will be a next time. I'm going to be hitting glowball again later next week and I'll take pictures of all the yummy goodness I will chow down on.

Another needed thing to do was get a much needed manicure and pedicure. It's been a moment since I treated myself. Due to great and honest recommendations from yelp.com we ventured to PNB Pamper Nails Bar. It was so nice to have a moment to sit back, relax, chat, watch a bit of "Sex and the City" Season 6 episodes and get taken care of. So now my hands and feet are nice and shiny sporting one of my favorite colors, Essie Chinchilly.

We ended the evening with some yummy Thai and me buying a bottle of Riesling. And the shocker of the evening, I didn't even open the bottle of wine. Yep, I'm seriously under the weather. However, I got to push through because I'm heading on a bus to Seattle tonight. I'm so excited.

More updates to come.

Learning from a massive mirror

2011-02-17T17:33:00.001-05:00

In my effort to get to Vancouver I took an airport shuttle, checked in behind idiot teenage boys, sat around at the flight gate with Aziz Ansari, took a 5 hour flight while trying not to sleep on Lorabell's shoulder (she is just so snuggly), retrieved my luggage with an achy back, had some customs confusion, took a Mercedes ML63 AMG taxi all the while being stuffy and a sitting and walking petri dish of infestation.

I arrive at the home I'm crashing at while I'm in town in desperate need of a good noise blowing, a cup of tea, and a very hot shower. And in that order I achieve those things. However, as I was about to get to that glorious shower I encountered the biggest mirror. It should be known I don't spend much looking at myself in the mirror. I can only see my face and shoulders in the mirror in my bathroom. The mirror in my bedroom and living room only get used when I need to ensure my dress isn't sticking in my underwear or to help with the removal of an insane amount of cat hair. So to see myself fully nekkid in the mirror before and after I hopped out of the shower was a shock.

Yes, I know I'm fat, but I rarely really examine my fat, my body. Well, not as of late. So for a moment I was in a state of depression over the way I looked. I wanted to linger for a while in my self-loathing ridiculousness, but I'm trying to get better at that so I didn't allow myself to (well for longer than 5 minutes). While I'm making my way out of my downward spiral I noticed these bruises along my ribcage. I have no clue where they came from. I can only assume that since my latest weight gain my too tight bras are pinching the skin or I have some weird dreams where I'm punching myself while I sleep.

Regardless, I need to know what is going on with my body. I need to get over myself and the issues with my appearance and spend some time looking at my body in the mirror. Anything could be going on, moles getting bigger, bruises, skin rashes and I would have no clue. Because I don't bother to look at myself naked. So yesterday I learned something from the massive mirror. Now if only the mirror could tell me the secret to happiness, winning lottery numbers, and truthfully where those bruises came from.

Wordless Wednesday - Adding Vacation Fun to Luggage

2011-02-16T10:58:00.000-05:00

#10 Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver

I don't like my stomach right now.

2011-02-15T23:36:00.001-05:00

Over the last three days I've been suffering with the stomach virus. And trust me I'm not a happy camper at the moment because it is a lot of stress to have going on in my life before I leave for vacation. Tomorrow evening, I will embark on a great trip that includes meeting and hanging with great friends, eating good food (some that include gluten), seeing new things, and listening to great music.

So I don't like my stomach right now and it dislikes me even more. However, even though we aren't at the best place with each other, this will past and fun will be had.

Music Monday - Earplugs Not Included

2011-02-14T23:42:00.001-05:00

Around this time next month I'll be venturing down to Austin, TX to attend SXSW. It is an annual music, film, and interactive festival. I'm so very excited, but quite overwhelmed. I will for the first time try to navigate five days of the free events, concerts, and parties. I'm essentially without a job and I couldn't afford a pass. I was told that there are plenty of things one can get into for free if you were prepared and willing to wait around. I'm willing to wait and at the moment I'm getting prepared.

First stop on the preparation wagon, learning about some new musical talent. That is where the music blog "Earplugs Not Included" comes along. I've been introduced to some wonderful talent. James Vincent McMorrow is now on regular rotation due to "Earplugs Not Included." I'm grateful to the site for opening my mind to amazing music and luckily for me some of the artists and bands that I now enjoy thanks to them will be performing at SXSW this year.

You can "LIKE" 'Earplugs Not Included" on facebook here or follow them on twitter at their account @earplugsnotincl.

Now back to working on my artist spreadsheet of the talent I would like to see perform at SXSW.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Spiritual Sunday - Quote Needed.

2011-02-13T23:29:00.000-05:00

Today was interesting. It started off wonderful and was then interrupted by a bit of drama. So I decided to step back from drooling over a fictional character and provide you all with a quote that brings me some comfort and strength when I'm having a rough moment.

"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by loving." - Anais Nin

Saturday Fluff - A new esthetician. Oh, my!

2011-02-12T21:38:00.000-05:00

In an attempt to save money I've decided to go to a new esthetician. This decision was not easy to come by. I've been going to Bliss Spa and my esthetician Babbie for the last 5 years. If it didn't cost at base $100 I would continue to go. However, life is different so I need to make the jump.

A friend of mine suggested her esthetician and when she told me the cost ($35), I was game to try. So Friday afternoon I head over to the salon and meet Maggie, my new esthetician. Maggie was sweet as pie and kept telling me how okay I was going to be switching to a new wax. I wasn't convinced, but I was willing to try to save money. So I stepped into waxing room and expected Maggie to leave so I could get nekkid. She didn't - WTF?

Maggie told me to get undressed while she was there. I was SO not prepared for that. At Bliss Spa, Babbie leaves me, tranquil music is playing, there are lemon wedges in my water. I get these paper panties to put on and a towel to put over my fat rolls and cooter. Not with Maggie. I get her prepping the table and Maggie asking me to disrobe so she can remove hair from my lady bits. I was stressed, this was something that I did not want to do. But I did it. I mean Maggie was going to be about 3 inches away from lily in about 5 minutes so why not.

I got over it, got up on the table and was presented with a completely different waxing experience. It was faster, the wax was different, it hurt more, but in the end it was done and way cheaper. So I'll get over it and have Maggie get my vagina ready. Well ready for nothing, but it's ready just in case.

Freebie Friday - Discounts and Giveaways

2011-02-11T22:03:00.000-05:00

I'm holding off on blessing another reader with another vibrator until March 2011, so in the interim I'm going to let you know about two discounts and giveaways going on.

The Popcorn Factory is providing a $10 discount off of $50 their merchandise. Just pop in the coupon code WINNER and you are all set.

Ann's Bridal Bargains is doing a monthly giveaway were they are providing a person with a $500 shopping spree. Click below and enter.

Enjoy!

Tallulah Bankhead

2011-02-10T22:51:00.001-05:00

Photograph by Eugene Robert Richee

I'm a huge Tallulah Bankhead fan. For those who have seen the above image background on my twitter page, that is Tallulah. Tallulah was a force of nature. She was admired and despised, but to me she will be beloved.

Today has been an interesting day and I needed some inspirtation. So I hit the Interwebs to look for some Tallulah moments and quotes to give me a boost. It worked, so I decided to share that goodness with you all.

Words of wisdom from Tallulah Bankhead:

"Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once."

"The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I'd make all the same mistakes - only sooner."

"My heart is as pure as the driven slush."

"I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education."

"I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."

"It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time."

"If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience."

"Nobody can be exactly me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it."

Video clips of Tallulah Bankhead:

Tallulah's Laugh by Tallulah Dahling

Tallulah Bankhead & Jack Carson - Baby It's Cold Outside by transformingArt

Marlene Dietrich and Tallulah Bankhead in "The Big Show" by MarleneDietrichForum

Wordless Wednesday: When my baby was a baby.

2011-02-09T22:20:00.001-05:00

I ♥ my hood.

2011-02-08T15:10:00.002-05:00

Uptown Manhattan is where it is at!

I've lived in Harlem for six years and I love it. First off, I love my hood because my apartment is huge, I have 12 foot ceilings (some places even higher), two skylights, a dishwasher, and windows in every room. My one bedroom apartment has two bathrooms. Yes, I wrote two bathrooms - one full and one quarter. Due to where I live and the fact of how my apartment is set-up I pay a very decent amount in regards to Manhattan standings for my rent. My friends when I bother to let them in, always fall in love with my apartment and become jealous of how much I pay especially since I'm located so closely to great transportation choices.

Second off, I love my street and my area of Harlem. It is so quiet and my neighbors are wonderful. I live in a gentrified area, which can be good and bad, but that is a discussion for another day. But, due to the gentrification we have a very diverse area. My neighbors are Black, African American, Asian, Jewish, European, Homosexual, Heterosexual, Caucasian, Hispanic/Latino, Christian, Atheist, multiracial, household named celebrities - it's uber diverse. There is a Tony, Oscar, and Emmy awarded actor living an extremely short distant from me. Every time I see this person I want to ask them these two questions: Can you introduce me to Christopher Meloni? and Can I see your Emmy, Oscar, and Tony awards? I have yet to do so, I'm chicken and I don't want to look crazy. However, back to point, we have wine bars, a beer garden, lovely restaurants, art galleries, new condos, a fancy grocery store. Essentially everything a person like me could need.

So when I hear someone bad mouthing my neighborhood because it isn't posh enough for them I get annoyed. No one is forcing you to come Uptown where your nose may bleed because you dared travel above 96th Street. I also get really annoyed when members of my neighborhood feel the need to frighten folks who are coming to visit me. Recently I had a friend who works a block away from the Harlem line coming to visit me for an evening of wine drinking and conversation. There is a bus that runs from her job directly to the street the restaurant we were going to is off of. She informed her co-workers where she was going and one of the co-workers who lives in the neighborhood told her she needed to be escorted because her kind doesn't live there and she would stand out and that was dangerous.

Really? Her kind - she's Asian. I didn't realize there were no Asian people in Harlem. Well this woman needs to inform my neighbor or the whole gaggle of elderly Asian women who live in the apartment building three blocks from me that Asians don't live in Harlem. Not only did she escort her, but she told my friend she needed to wait with her until I showed up at the restaurant because it wasn't safe for her to wait alone in "this element." OMG! I was so angry. Could something have happened to her while she waited, yes. However, the same can be said for anywhere in the city. It bothered me most because the woman has lived in the neighborhood her whole life. She has seen the changes that have taken place and still refuses to love the glory that is Harlem. I feel sorry for her because she is missing out. I realize that this woman may have issues and/or is extremely paranoid, but I still feel sorry for her. So I'll be enjoying my lovely hood while she sits at home and/or feels the need to travel downtown every time she wants to experience life.

Music Monday - Suzi Quatro

2011-02-07T23:33:00.000-05:00

Suzi, Suzi, Suzi! Suzi Quatro!

Image retrieved from harrinochoice

Back in the early 90's I may have loved pop stars like "New Kids on the Block," but I was also was obsessed with musical mavens like Suzi Quatro. Why wouldn't I be? She's the reason folks were up in arms because Kristen Stewart cut her "Bella" hair to play Joan Jett. Joan was inspired by Suzi, the shag (yes it's a shag, not a mullet) was Suzi's way before it was Joan's. Hot lady strapped in leather was Suzi way before Joan. Even Joan herself admits to copying the style of Suzi. Suzi Quatro was one of the reasons why Joan Jett and many other women (and a few men) wanted to play the bass or guitar. Suzi is the reason why I play the bass now.

Suzi born June 3, 1950 is a triple threat; she is an actress, a musician, and singer-songwriter. She plays the bass and piano, as well as being a talented vocalist. Suzi never gained the success here in the United States like she did in Europe. But because of her, rock 'n' roll stars like The Runaways, Joan Jett, and Lita Ford exist because she paved the way for them.

The first song I heard of Suzi's was a live version of "Can The Can." From that song on I was hooked. Back in the day before you could get the information you wanted with a quick Internet search you had to actually go to the library. I clearly remember going to the library and checking out V.C. Andrews books along with a copy of Suzi Quatro cassette tape. I was beyond happy. I was reading smut and listening to rock 'n' roll. I was so cool and uncool in the same moment. But I was happy in my little bubble.

Suzi has continued to perform and record and I'm sad to state I don't have a lot of the work she has done in the last 15 years or so because it was hard to come by. However, I'm happy to have the vast collection I currently own. Below are some of my favorite songs, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

"Can The Can" via GLordMaximus
"The Wild One" via YCSMusic
"Kids of Tradegy" via Back2thedrive

Fictional Character - Tasha Williams

2011-02-06T10:42:00.005-05:00

On January 30, 2011, I decided to start a series for my Smut Sundays on Fictional Characters I would like to... I'll will fill in the blanks as I go.

I started the series with Mr. E. Edward Grey from the movie "Secretary." And just writing that post made me a very happy woman. However, I didn't know who to continue with in the series, especially when I have so many fictional characters that cause my heart and other areas to go a flutter. So I stole an idea from Dangrdafne; I wrote all the fictional characters names down on pieces of paper, dropped them into my new TARDIS mug (Squee!) and chose one. The one chosen for today, February 6, 2011 is none other than Ms. Tasha Williams from "The L Word."

Image retrieved from MamaPop

Tasha was played by the lovely Rose Rollins. Tasha's character had the potential to have a lot more depth then it did on the show, but what I did get to see of her was enough. Tasha's character was introduced to the L Word viewers as the best friend of Papi. She was a member of the Army National Guard and had recently returned from her deployment in Iraq. Tasha appeared to be suffering from Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), however I don't think her PTSD was properly addressed in her story line. Tasha was a complicated woman who had an interesting and complicated relationship with Alice Pieszecki. You see the ups and downs of the relationship especially when Tasha is found out violating the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

Tasha was beautiful, hard, rough, smart, and talented. I loved her character. I wish they showed more layers of her, but I'm glad overall that I got to know the character at all. I mean how can you not love a character who says, "Just shut up and let me f*ck you!" Hello!!! Me likey and me wants, and wants often!!! I leave you with some Tasha goodness. Note, f-bombs are dropped in this video.

Rose Rollins (The L Word) by GreyDaySoul

Saturday Fluff - "Daily Affirmation"

2011-02-05T15:39:00.001-05:00

Joseph Gordon-Levitt also known as my future we parted ways well ex-husband, reblogged the below YouTube video:

Jessica's "Daily Affirmation" by dmchatster

As I watched the video I began to laugh. This was the cutest and realest thing I've seen in a while. Yes, it's an older video and many have seen it, but it made me wonder how many had really seen it, really heard her. This young girl is basically pumping herself up and letting herself and the world know what she likes about herself and her amazing life. So this child has schooled me and hopefully schooled some of you. I now look in the mirror and say the following:

I like my head.

I like my bald head.

I like my eyes.

I like my nose.

I like my teeth.

I like my lips.

I like my apartment.

I like my school.

I like my life.

I like my friends.

No, this isn't the full list, it's just a bit of what I said this morning, but it worked. I didn't have a problem with the image of my personal portrait of today and that made me extremely happy.

Thank you Jessica!

Twihearted

2011-02-04T11:22:00.002-05:00

February is Black History Month and American Heart Month. February is a month filled with health education and remembrance. So here is a tidbit of information that combines both, "black women have a greater risk of heart disease and stroke than white women" (American Heart Association, Women, Heart Disease and Stroke).

As a black woman February, more so than January reminds me that I should get my butt in gear and get a bit more healthy. My family history is filled heart disease and stroke. My grandmother, one of my favorite people in the world, the woman who brought my being so much comfort died as result of both. So whenever I see folks rallying together to raise awareness and money in regards to heart disease I salute, applaud, and get behind them.

Over at Twitarded they started the Twihearted campaign to raise money in remembrance of Snarkier Than You's mother.

Every dollar helps and I hope you can donate so they can reach and hopefully surpass their goal of raising $2000 for the American Heart Association. It truly is an amazing organization. If you are unable to donate, you can still show your support and participate in Wear Red Day, by wearing red today.

And to save you some money and help raise awareness Macy's is doing their part by giving customers who wear red 20% off their shopping in the store and if you use the coupon WEARRED you will receive 20% off on line.

Wordless Wednesday - Barnard Student Art

2011-02-02T15:41:00.000-05:00

Unknown Barnard Student Artist/Activist

Blank and full - free writing.

2011-02-01T22:58:00.000-05:00

I'm overwhelmed with schoolwork and I'm a bit frustrated with myself because I'm not a fast reader. My mouth and brain couldn't connect today to formulate the proper words for class discussion. It was like one moment my brain was filled with goodness and in the next second, nothing. I felt dumb and I despise letting myself feel dumb.

School is a struggle for me, it always will be. No matter what techniques I use or help I receive I'm a bit slower than others. A bit less focused. I have drugs to help me zone it, however I often forget to take them until it's too late. Scattered I can be. But with all that going on, I was prepared today. Fully prepared. Notes taken, article highlighted and it appeared I was the only one. That felt good and annoying. I did the work and no one else seem to. I was ready and for what? I go through the motions and no one else does. Will this be the way this course will be from this point? If so, I won't be happy. I'll learn from my professor, but not from the other students.

I don't like that. I don't want that.

Time - 2 minutes of free writing

Topic - School

Why a free writing post - I was at a loss of what to write about and I didn't like any of the other draft posts I had stored, so why not.

Music Monday - Randomness

2011-01-31T16:38:00.001-05:00

I decided not to focus on one artist for this Music Monday post, but on three songs that I can't stop listening to. And I mean I can't stop listening to. I have these weird moments where I need to listen to the same song over and over again. I know it annoys the crud out folks, but it makes me happy so I don't care what they think.

Here's the insanity over and over list:

1. Rihanna - "Cheers (Drink To That). Not the best song out there and probably about a minute longer than it needs to be, but the song gets giddy for the days that I don't have to work. Also, I love it because it references Jameson Whiskey I love me some Jameson or Maker's Mark and Ginger.

via 01Lyrics
2. The White Panda - Drake & Diane (Drake // John Mellencamp).This is a mash-up between John Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane" (one of my favorite songs) and the glorious Drake aka Aubrey Graham, but to me he will always be Jimmy Brooks of "Degrassi: The Next Generation." The song is pure perfection.

via WhitePandaMusic
3. Joan Jett - Fetish. Joan Jett is my favorite artist. I FLOVE her. Everything she puts out is pure happiness and pure gold to me. I'm dying to meet her among other things I'm dying to do with her, but I'll leave that to another day. The song "Fetish" is rough, raw, and ruthless energy. I love listening to the song as loud as possible. My hearing loss can probably be attributed to the volume at which I listen to this song at.

via runawayjett
Well now you know some of what I'm listening to. I hope some of these songs can bring you half as much joy they bring to me.

Fictional Characters I would like to...

2011-01-30T21:53:00.002-05:00

A while ago @AllTwiedUp and I had a twitter conversation about a fictional character that I would like to bed or should I properly say bed me. After that conversation it got me thinking of all the fictional characters out there that make me happy in all the proper or improper, depending on who you talk to places. So, I figured I would start a series on these fictional characters I would like to... I'll will fill in the blanks as I go. The fictional characters will be in no particular order, but because my list is ~~disgustingly~~ ridiculously long I'll be delivering "Smut Sunday" posts for a bit.

Do you know who Mr. E. Edward Grey is? If not, go rent the movie "Secretary."

via allmoviephoto

On a very special evening filled with Hooters wings, sports viewing, and adult beverages a friend of mine asked me, "If there is a movie that could describe your life what would it be?" My response without hesitation was, "I wish it could be Secretary!" The friend who asked, he had a total blank stare on his face. However, my other friend in attendance, with me began to howl in laughter. We got it. We SO got it. And here is the reason why. Mr. E. Edward Grey may have his issues (all good to me), a dominant ex, an obsession with Orchids, a love of horses, but I would gladly let him take me if he wanted. I can watch "Secretary" over and over and never get bored. It is one of my favorite movies mostly because of my love for Mr. E. Edward Grey. * shiver*

James Spader plays Mr. E. Edward Grey to a T! He is UH-mazing in this role. When I briefly met him after a performance of "Race" on Broadway I was ~~VERY~~ slightly tempted to ask him to discipline me for all the erroneous grammar in my life. Alas, I didn't and asked if I could take a picture of him with my friend. Mr. Spader was so nice, he took the picture, signed our playbills, and slightly and briefly touched my hand. That slight and brief touch has fueled many wonderful day dreams of my time with Mr. E. Edward Grey. I can honestly say Mr. E. Edward Grey, will be the only fictional Edward I'll love. I'll be Mr. E. Edward Grey's Lee anytime, any place, any way. Phew, it just got real hot!

E. Edward Grey and Lee Halloway image via fanpop

Saturday Fluff - Baby Bob Marley.

2011-01-29T22:44:00.001-05:00

There are hundreds of these baby soothed with music types of videos on the Interwebs, but this one is my favorite. This is my go to video when I need to laugh and right now, I need to laugh. Nothing serious happen, I just for the first time in my life cooked like a mad woman. Six hours cooking in the kitchen. A lot was learned, much food consumed, back ache was the result, however well worth it.

Enjoy! And hopefully it will bring a smile to your face.

Baby Boy Marley via babybobmarley333

Change of plans.

2011-01-28T18:15:00.001-05:00

There weren't any giveaways and/or great discount deals for me post today, so I planned a Friday Fantasy post. However, the links are wonky so change of plans.

I want to share a quote with you that I adore:

"As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more." - Jules Renard

For more words of inspiration from Jules please go here.

Danger Zone

2011-01-27T20:03:00.006-05:00

It's January 27th, 2011 and tonight at 10 PM EST, one of my favorite shows "Archer" returns to FX to delight and horrify us all. I flove this show! It makes me laugh so hard I hyperventilate, fart, and snort (all at the same time). It's that good. Below is a little montage titled the "Danger Zone." Virtual hugs to anyone who can figure out why I flove this montage.

Danger Zone (1-9) via lookaduck66
And so you know what Archer is referencing to Lana, here is the video for "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins for the "Top Gun" soundtrack.

Via LunaTejada

Wordless Wednesday - The Armory Show 2010 Favorite

2011-01-26T11:48:00.001-05:00

*Artist Anne-Karin Furunes. Color tint due to White Balance issues.

Growth through personal portraits.

2011-01-25T21:44:00.001-05:00

Currently I'm working on a 366 consecutive day personal portrait project titled, "33 + 1." Every morning I get up and choose which type of photography equipment I'm going to take my personal portrait with for that day. I've only been doing it for 7 days and 4 of the 7 pictures were taken with my iPhone versus my digital or 35mm SLR's. Call me lacking inspiration or lazy, most likely I am both, but every day a picture was taken.

I chose myself as the subject matter to help me begin to truly love the physical aspects of myself. I've admitted to be very self-loathing at times, to often lack self-esteem. I hope that this project will help me understand what makes up the physical aspects of me and learn to love each of those parts separately and eventually as a whole.

In the beginning the process was difficult, I had to psych myself up to take a photo. I'm not big on having my image captured. So I went with a process that was less structured. I didn't want to get caught up in the planning. I just wanted to do it, have a semi-spontaneous moment. However, the self-loathing started to trickle in. Since I've only allowed myself to take one image per day, once the captured image was viewed I immediately began to critique everything about my look, my being. I was itching to take another photo, possibly capture myself in a better light so I looked better to me. But I realized quite quickly that belief would take time.

My need to learn how to look at myself differently is a process. I need to critique the work and not my appearance. I need to grow and fully love all of me. It's only been 7 days and I shouldn't expect my demons to miraculously diminish overnight. It's a process, just like this project. I need to admit my faults and begin to learn and grow from them.

I just need to remind myself every day, I'm committed to doing this project and learning from it.

Music Monday - Édith Piaf

2011-01-24T14:47:00.002-05:00

From time to time during my youth I heard a magnificent voice come across my path via the song "Non, Je ne regrette rien," but unfortunately I didn't realize who the songstress was. Then about seven or so years ago I'm sitting with my friend talking story and "Non, Je ne regrette rien" comes through the speakers. That was the day I was officially introduced to the glory that is Édith Piaf.

Édith Piaf, born Édith Giovanna Gassion on December 19, 1915 was a French singer and icon. She was discovered in 1935 by Louis Leplée and he gave her the nickname La Môme Piaf (The Little Sparrow). The nickname which essentially became her stage name was brought about because of her small stature (she was 4' 8") and her nervousness. Unfortunately, Édith passed away on October 11, 1963 at the young age of 47 from lung cancer.

I don't know very much about Édith's personal life, but I'm blessed to have few of her songs in my musical collection. I hope you enjoy the selection below:

"Non, Je ne regrette rien"
"La Vie En Rose"
"La Foule"
"Milord"

Spiritual Sunday

2011-01-23T23:07:00.000-05:00

Just some simple words with a power message:

"Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street." - Grant L. Miller

Saturday Fluff - Five O'Clock Heroes

2011-01-22T20:30:00.002-05:00

I got a note a bit ago stating that a new Five O'Clock Heroes video would debut soon featuring Chase Spencer. I was beyond giddy. Until I saw the video. Ugh! I adore the song, however I can't stand the video. So, my need to feature it in the Saturday Fluff edition was crushed. If you need to see it, go here.

Otherwise look at one of their other videos (a favorite song of mine) instead, "Who":

Who - Five O'Clock Heroes feat. Agyness Deyn

Giveaways and discounts across the Interwebs.

2011-01-21T11:47:00.001-05:00

I don't have anything to giveaway, sorry! But here is a list of goods you can get for free, discounted, or win.

Giveaways:

1. A Je Joue: MiMi Vibrator from EdenCafe until 1/23/2011
2. Twilight Goods Giveaway from Dangrdafne until 2/1/2011
3. Wide Calf Boot Giveaway from Bennetts Boots from NettaP until 2/2/1011

Also, For The Mommas has a list of freebie items and/or samples you can get from various vendors.

Discounts:

1. Buy One, Get One Free VitaminWater Coupon from The Frugal Girls.

Coupon Codes:

I despise paying retail so before I buy anything on the Internet I go to RetailMeNot and Fabulous Savings to search their coupon code database. Most of time I save between 10 and 25 percent or at least get free shipping.

Happy saving and good luck if you enter any of the giveaways.

I'm 34 - w00t!

2011-01-20T14:14:00.002-05:00

Today is my 34th birthday. I'm stoked about getting older. I love the fact that I'm alive again another day. So I'm celebrating tonight by going to dinner with some classmates from my alma mater and then going home and popping open a Four Loko. I kid! There are some Four Loko's in my fridge, but that will be for another day.

I didn't grow up with a lot of fanfare in regards to my birthday. So when I turned 30, I decided it was going to be nothing but big celebrations each year or major travel. So for my 30th birthday I threw a "Slut it Up!" birthday celebration with an open bar, crazy amount of Crumbs cupcakes, and food at a swanky bar in New York. Then for the 31st and 32nd birthdays I threw a bit tamer, but still debauchery filled open bar parties at a bar in Brooklyn. All three parties were a bunch of fun, but for my 33rd birthday I needed a break. I needed some sun.

Off to Hawai'i I flew to hang with my Goddaughter and her family. I had a blast. Got to be silly, put on the dreaded bathing suit and romp in the frigid ocean water. I worked on my swimming skills, read countless stories to my Goddaughter, ate so much ahi poki I might as well have turned into tuna. My Goddaughter threw me a surprise birthday party at Farrell's. It was like being a kid again. It was clean wholesome fun. It was also a great trip, because I got to see a really good friend of mine get married. In all, UH-mazing times!

As for my 34th birthday, I didn't make any plans. I couldn't travel because school started this week and it wasn't feasible to miss my first full week of classes. And I didn't have the funds to do an open bar party. I'm weird, if I throw a party I need to supply the food and drinks. So I decided to do nothing, just focus on the things I needed to do in my life. Like clean my friggin' apartment, which is a complete disaster area at the moment, as well as do some grocery shopping. However, plans changed so now I'm going to dinner with friends and I'm truly happy about that.

I've been asked a couple of times today what I received for my birthday, so I figured I would share the goods with you all. Also, I got some cool gifts from folks who didn't realize my birthday was coming up, regardless I am stating they are birthday presents - HA!

1. A Refurbished Mac G5
2. Mark Nepo's "The Book of Awakening"
3. Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookie Ingredients
4. Patty Smith's "Just Kids"
5. Money
6. Bliss Blood Orange Gift Set

And most importantly I received LOVE!!!

Wordless Wednesday - The first thing I see in the morning.

2011-01-19T11:27:00.000-05:00

My Baby

Trying to think positive.

2011-01-18T20:42:00.001-05:00

I found out recently that my part-time job is going to be dissolved due to lack of funding. When I found out, I was crushed. I have no clue what I'm going to do in regards to money when my job ends in March. I've been looking for other jobs, but finding part-time positions at my current place of employment hasn't been successful. Working in my current place of employment makes going to school easier. I don't have to worry about my commute in regards to getting to class on time (because it's in the same building) and if I secure another part-time job there, that job will provide me with tuition assistance. Essentially a free class, that's a $3600 savings.

Honestly, I'm not physically (or mentally) prepared to go back to working full-time and going to school full-time. Heck, I just left that full-time student, full-time employee life in October 2010. Making that leap of faith to work part-time even though I knew my life would drastically change was the best decision I've made in a very long time. So now I need to decide, should I quit school and focus on finding work or push through school and have faith that something will work out in the finance department.

If I decided to quit school this semester and work, I know I can request a financial hardship with my loan agencies so I can delay paying my loans, but quitting only means I prolong graduating. That I'm so not ready to do. I was slated to graduate in May 2011, but due to course conflicts and professors taking sabbaticals my new graduation date is now slated to be December 2011. I can't foresee holding off graduating until May 2012. I love New York, but staying here another year and half isn't really what I want to do. I need to get my life on track and start working towards my career goals. If I decided to work, I hope I could find a job that was financially worth the decision not to be in school. However, the job market is so harsh at the moment.

The last two years for me have been a major crapfest. I feel like once I get something good going the world feels the need to slap with more drama. It's hard to put on a happy face when you feel like the world is crumbling around you. However, I'm going to try and think positive. I KNOW a solution will arise. I KNOW that life could be worse, so I'm going to push forward and hopefully soon I'll have something more positive to write about and share.

Thanks for reading my woe is me post.

Music Monday - Vinyl Love.

2011-01-17T17:41:00.001-05:00

Image retrieved from Vinyl Records for Sale

I grew up in a time where vinyl was king. I remember going to pre-teen and teen clubs in Hawai'i where DJ's spinning their LP's would get us out of our wallflower corners with the majestic sounds of Michael Jackson, Prince, and Culture Club. We would sway to the lush sounds that had glorious cracks and crinkles in our jelly shoes. Our ponytails were high and if we were lucky off to the side. We wore neon and Hypercolor, bangles made of plastic or metal. We were cool.

We were cool because we heard all the details of each song. We got the full experience. No auto-tones, no need to perfect the imperfection that could make a song great. We got the full experience, the truth via vinyl. I miss those days. I miss my record player. I know it's collecting dust and probably mold along with my massive record collection in the basement of the parental unit's home. But in my current home here in this cement city I don't have the space to truly enjoy my vinyl love. So I lay down and listen to the digitally remastered songs via my iPod and remember days of hot pants and freedom. I remember days of laying with my head in my maternal grandmothers lap, listening to Smoky Robinson to Mahalia Jackson, while rubbing on her elbow flab until my heart was filled with her love and my nerves fully at ease. I remember goodness. And I dream of the day when I can lay in my own home again and listen to music they way it should be listened to, on a record player.

If you get the chance go forth and listen to some music via vinyl. I hope that experience brings you as much as joy as it has to me.

Schedule Posting Topics: Good or Bad?

2011-01-16T23:39:00.001-05:00

I'm thinking of setting-up a posting topic schedule for this blog. Here is what I'm thinking so far:

Monday - Music Monday (a post revolving around music).
Tuesday - Truth Tuesday (a personal post or pondering about the world).
Wednesday - Wordless Wednesday (a post of a picture that I've taken).
Thursday - Truth Thursday (a personal post or pondering about the world).
Friday - Freebie Friday (a giveaway or post about giveaways going on and/or discounts available on the Interwebs)
Sunday - Spiritual or Smut Sundays (a post about something inspiring or rather smutty).

Does this posting topic schedule sound interesting or do you like the free flow that is currently going on in the blog?

Let me know what you think.

Saturday Fluff

2011-01-15T19:04:00.002-05:00

It's Saturday and I haven't been feeling all that hot. I have another cold - Oh, joy! So that means I'm spending my time under the covers watching, "Doctor Who," "The IT Crowd," "Misfits" and YouTube videos.

So for this Saturday Fluff edition I'm going to share some of my "help me feel better goodness" with you. I introduce to some, communitychannel! This woman causes me to snort, fart, and giggle. This week @einfach_mich tweeted about the "my seeds & your grandchildren...exotic" video and I immediately went to watch it and I will be forever hooked on this channel.

So enjoy the goodness. I hope she makes you laugh and brings some joy to your life.

my seeds & your grandchildren...exotic

The BEST E-Card you will ever get

2011 First Freebie Friday - VIBRATOR GIVEAWAY WINNER is...

2011-01-14T00:25:00.001-05:00

NorCalTwiTard

You are the lucky winner THIS:

Image of Waterproof Flutter was retrieved from the Romance and Roses web site.

An Evolved 3 speed Waterproof Flutter Slender in Purple. You have 48 hours to respond to my Twitter Direct Message or the prize will be fortified and be presented to the next name chosen.

Thank you for everyone who entered and please don't fret another Vibrator Giveaway will occur next month.

*The Waterproof Flutter was a part of a giveaway that I received in a raffle from Eden Fantasys.

**As the supplier of this giveaway I will pay shipping and handling for the winner.

Thank You!!!

2011-01-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

Retrieved from Make Your Own Invitations

Most of you don't know, but it has been a truly rough time for me. A bit of it I share here and on twitter, but a lot of it I keep locked up in my mind. I grew up alone, so sharing what bothers me is truly difficult. I'm use to processing things on my own. It isn't always the best way to do things, but it's what I know how to do.

However, through it all, you all have been there. Being a support system even when you didn't realize you were doing so. So I take today to offer thanks to you all for everything that you do. Each and everyone of you make a difference in my life. You make me a better person, a stronger person, and a nicer person.

Thank You!!!

Will Demps

2011-01-12T12:07:00.007-05:00

Retrieved from The Duck Walk

I wanted to do a Wordless Wednesday post showing you all lovely images of my snow covered NYC, but my mind decided to take me elsewhere. Last night I was blessed with a dream that included William Demps (a free agent football player). It wasn't erotic, we just went to Kunjip, my favorite Korean restaurant and had dinner. The conversation was lively, I was looking extra cute, and Will was smart, funny, and all out gorgeous.

Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of videos and images of Mr. Demps, but feast your eyes on the lovely that I could find:

"Will Demps - Set the Mood Right" by MIAhaitian19

"Will Demps - Sensual Seduction" by MIAhaitian19

Beginning with the letter "T"

2011-01-11T16:40:00.002-05:00

I'm in a weird mood today and figured I would share with you two things that begin with the letter "T" that bring me joy: TeeFury and ThinkGeek. Both are web sites that I visit daily.

TeeFury (Tee Today, Gone Tomorrow) is a web site started in 2008 by a group of artists. They bring the world limited edition t-shirts that they sell for 24 hours or until they are sold out. Each shirt is sold for $9, which a $1 for each t-shirt sold is given to the artist. Once the t-shirt is sold out or when the 24 hours are up the t-shirt is never sold on TeeFury again. However, the artist/designer of the t-shirt is free to sell their t-shirt design via another venue. Thank goodness!!!

Some of my favorite gems are as follows:

"So Say We All" by Bregan1989

"The Doctor Has Been Here" by uniique_com

"Who" by Ian Leino

ThinkGeek (stuff for smart masses) was launched on an actual Friday the 13th, in 1999. It is honestly my favorite on-line store. It appeals to my soul because it has a bit of something, for every love of mine. They have R2-D2 and Doctor Who goods up the arse. As well as, just fun stuff in general.

Here are some of my favorite lovelies on the site:

"Star Wars R2-D2 Trashcan"

"Doctor Who 11th Doctor's Diecast Sonci Screwdriver - Screwdriver"

Hello Schroddy

I hope you can take some time out and explore the goodness that bought of these sites have.

*Images from the post were retrieved from TeeFury and ThinkGeek.

**This is just an opinion post, no free products or goods were received from the companies listed in this post.

Music Monday - Nina Simone

2011-01-10T13:19:00.000-05:00

Nina Simone also known as the "High Priestess of Soul," is one of my favorite musical artists. She has talent that connects individuals regardless of race, gender, social class, and creed.

Eunice Kathleen Waymon, was born on February 21, 1933, but was known to most of the world by her stage name, Nina Simone. She had an amazing career that included more than 40 albums. She was the proud mother of musical artist Simone; an extreme talent in her own right, who is best known for her Broadway performance in "Aida" and touring performance in "Rent: An American Musical."

Nina was an ultimate threat when it came to musical talents. She wrote, arranged, and sung her own music. She was an accomplished pianist, who studied a Juilliard School of Music. Besides her musical talents she was also a civil rights activist. She used her musical talents to address the issues of racial inequality within the United States. On her album "Nina Simone In Concert" she wrote songs in response to Jim Crow laws, the murder of Medgar Evans, and the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing in which four little girls were killed. "Mississippi Goddam" was one of those songs:

Nina is best known as a jazz musician, but a little before and since her death in April 2003, her music was remastered and reformatted so her soulful and powerful voice lie over electronic, techno, and pop beats. Also many of hers songs were either sampled and/or covered by artists such as Jeff Buckley, Marilyn Manson, Roberta Flack, David Bowie, and Muse. Her career was an amazing one, that was riddled with violent outbursts, mental disease, and many great accomplishments. Nina Simone is a true treasure and if you haven't heard her music I hope you go out take some time to enlighten your being with some of her glorious works.

I leave you with some of my favorite Nina Simone songs and covers:

"Four Women"

"I Put A Spell On You" a Screamin' Jay Hawkins cover.

"Cosi Ti Amo" written by Robin Gibb, Barry Gibb, Gino Paoli, Franco Boldrini

*Image retrieved from Shadow And Act.

Should you willingly be ignored?

2011-01-09T23:50:00.000-05:00

I'm a firm believer in letting folks get their moment to shine when meeting new people. If I'm in a social setting and a person begins to interact with my friend and is directing all of their conversation topics to that person I go in shutdown mode.

I never feel the need to communicate with someone who isn't trying to communicate with me. I'm already shy as it is, so why go the extra mile to put myself out there when the person appears not to have an interest in anything I may want to say. I'm not trying to block your interaction with my friend, nor am I helping you in any way. Why should I? Why make an effort to communicate with someone who pretends like you don't exist, especially when they see you interacting with the individual they are trying to communicate with before they came over.

Some of my friends understand this (thank Jeebus), but a lot of my friends don't. I don't understand why folks don't get this. Why should I put myself in a situation where I'm purposely being ignored? No one has provided me with an answer to make me rethink interacting with someone who is totally ignoring me.

So I ask you all, should you willingly be ignored in this situation? Or should you just go in shutdown mode? I would love to read what you all think about this scenario.

Smile for me.

2011-01-08T19:39:00.000-05:00

As some of you are aware I'm a ~~bit~~ majorly obsessed with teeth. I even have a detailed ranking system that I shall not share. I truly don't need the world to know how deep my insanity goes. But just know this, I've had braces twice (my teeth are pretty damn straight) and my teeth only rank an eight out of ten in my ranking system. I have issues, I already know.

The number one compliment I receive from folks is in regards to my smile and/or teeth. Most women complain that men stare at their bosom when talking to them. Yeah, that's not my problem, most men stare at my mouth. I think I have a decent rack and occasionally it should be looked upon, but that doesn't happen. If I receive a compliment, it is most likely regarding my mouth (lips, smile, teeth) than anything else.

If smiles was the number one way to attract mates I would be rolling in them. Well that is if I actually smiled all the time. Most of the time I have an annoyed look on my face. I'm pretty sure if you could look stink-eye up in the dictionary, my picture would be there as an example of how to do it properly. However, when the smile comes out forget about it. This smile has gotten me out of trouble, bumped up to first-class, and free drinks and food. Good times!

I believe my infatuation with teeth and essentially smiles stems from how others have viewed my aesthetic most of my life. So my love of teeth isn't totally some out of the blue, crazed idea. It's the worlds fault! Other folks are to blame for me being a strange one. Their need to compliment me on what they view as my best physical attribute is the catalyst to my fascination with teeth.

So, is there something that others constantly comment on or compliment you about, that now has you obsessing over that same thing in others?

Freebie Friday - VIBRATOR GIVEAWAY!!!

2011-01-07T16:32:00.004-05:00

Buzz, buzz, buzz another vibrator giveaway!!!

So for this first Freebie Friday Giveaway of 2011, I am gifting one individual an Evolved 3 speed Waterproof Flutter Slender in Purple. This free vibrator (among many) was received from an Eden Fantasys party giveaway at BlogHer 2010.

According to Luscious Lily, a reviewer on Eden Fantasys, the flutter is "a slender, comfortable toy... a nice introduction to the world of dual-stimulator toys." I can't make any promises of how long the toy will last and/or if it will provide you with the statisfication you are looking for. However, I can guarantee if you are the winner you will be sent a free vibrator sans batteries. You have until January 13, 2011, 11:59 PM EST to enter. The winner will be announced on January 14, 2011.

How to enter:

1. Leave a comment below. That's it! You leave a comment you have a shot.

If you want extra entries, do the following and leave a comment for EACH one you do!!!

1. Follow @misstejota on twitter (include your twitter handle in the comment ).

2. Follow this blog (include your username in the comment).

3. Send out the following tweet: "Freebie Friday: Vibrator #Giveaway (http://bit.ly/misstejotaFFJan72011) by @misstejota courtesy of free gift from @edenfantasys" (include URL to the tweet in your comment).

4. Follow @edenfantasys on twitter (include your twitter handle in the comment).

*Image of Waterproof Flutter was retrieved from the Romance and Roses web site.

**The Waterproof Flutter was a part of a giveaway that I received in a raffle from Eden Fantasys.

***As the supplier of this giveaway I will pay shipping and handling for the winner.

Bikram Yoga is my new crack.

2011-01-06T12:45:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I had my first taste of Bikram Yoga. I ventured further Uptown to attend an 8:30 PM class at Bikram Yoga Harlem. And like the lady in the picture to the left, that is exactly what I looked like, except I'm bald, black, and I was dripping with sweat.

90 minutes of almost constant movement in 105 degrees, no matter how good of shape you are, you are going to sweat. Also, there was no time for modesty. Folks were decked out in boy shorts, bathing suits, items that might as well have been underwear, basically very little clothing. Everyone of all ages, races, shapes, and levels were in attendance. My instructor for the class was Nandra Thompson and she was all win. Nandra made everyone feel comfortable. She was funny and helpful and made this adventure stress-free.

This was the first time, in a long time, I didn't feel self-conscious when working out. I didn't have time to worry about what everyone else was doing or what they were wearing because I was sweating too much to care. My main gym is very much about appearance. The location I ~~attend~~ belong to, women come to workout in full make-up and dressed to impress. At times, the gym can be a total over 30 meat market. Everyone is always looking at you, sizing you up. I don't need that and/or have time for it. I joined that gym because they have an amazing personal training staff and program. I go to the gym to work-out and subtly drool over the celebs that work out there. I don't go to overhear gossip about whose spouse is stepping out on whom, or why this or that person shouldn't be in an organization because they are new vs. old money, or to be asked to get you things because you assume I work there.

There is much less interaction with others in Bikram Yoga, because we don't talk in class. It's all about breathing and moment. Which is wonderful for someone like me who doesn't mingle well. I can go to class set my mat down, get my sweat and move on, breathe, breathe, breathe, and then bounce. I never have to worry that the person to my right or left will be a chatty Cathy that needs to talk to me during their work-out. It's pure heaven.

If you haven't tried Bikram Yoga, I suggest you try it once. It was an amazing experience, I felt so refreshed after the class. The only downside was I was ridiculously hungry.

*The photo in this post was retrieved from industrialbrand's flickr page.

My obsession, my fetish, my love: Stockings.

2011-01-05T12:32:00.009-05:00

Here's a little secret about me, I LOVE stockings. I have since I was a very little girl. Call them my obsession, my fetish, my love. I delight in the feel of them, I adore the way they make my legs look.

Even as a very young girl I had a connection with them. They made me feel special, they made me feel good. I would walk around in tights and my favorite t-shirt. It was an odd pairing, an "I love J.R." t-shirt that was yellow with red lettering and some white tights. I was a weird kid, heck I'm a weird adult! But it combined my two favorite loves.

The t-shirt was given to me by my favorite person, my first crush, my first love. His initials were J.R. and it was during the craze of Dallas, so it made since. And I would tell this man who was 20 years my senior that I was going to marry him and I meant it. I followed him around like a love-sick puppy. Too bad my dream never came true, I still might be walking around our house in an "I love J.R." t-shirt, but most definitely not white tights, some stockings that are a bit more smexy. Alas.

When I was in middle school we were required to wear stockings or tights everyday. Those two years of my youth (clothing wise) were absolutely heavenly. Each day I would slip on my cinnamon color stockings and get immense pleasure that the stockings matched my skin tone so perfectly. I would sit in class with my hand on my knee causally running my fingers back and forth over the sheer texture. It was pure pleasure. Then I would come home and take them off. Take perfect care in washing them in the sink and hang them up in the shower. I treated those stockings as gently as one should treat a newborn baby.

As I got older, I became aware of the different types of stockings and tights. I had a special drawer just for my hosiery. Call this obsession my tithes, because I'm sure at least 10% of my salary went to keeping my collection fresh. I adored them so much, I wore them everyday. Crotch rot be damned, I was wearing stockings with pants (and underwear - I have to wear underwear). As I got a bit braver and more comfortable with my body, thigh highs with garter belts became a favorite of mine. However, as I gained more weight I became less comfortable with wearing stockings. They no longer made me feel sexy, but I think it was because I no longer looked at myself as sexy. The last time I graced some fishnets and a garter belt was for my 30th birthday. That was almost 4 years ago. Realizing how LONG it has been, truly saddens me. Because I know that every time I go to a store or look for clothes on-line I always stop by the hosiery section and become enamored with the different textures and items. As well as, I still have a small section of stockings and tights (that no longer fit) in my sock drawer. I pull them out and look at them often, reminiscing of the good times I had in them.

So in 2011, I'm bringing stockings back into my life. The happiness I use to feel when I put on a pair of stockings needs to come back. I miss it, I need it again. I'm worth it! So to begin my quest I did some research and have found some items over at Torrid. They are affordable, so it's a good place to begin my new collection with. They aren't the most amazing quality, but it's a start. So when I turn 34 this year regardless of where I'll be, whether it's my bed or out on the town, I'll be sporting some type of hosiery (and possibly a garter belt) and feeling mighty good about myself.

Fate has other plans.

2011-01-04T20:58:00.003-05:00

I'm determined to be happy. I'm determined to try to leave the things that haunt me in my past, in my past.

However, fate has other plans.

I fully understand there will be events that happen that will remind of me things I wish I had no memory of. I fully understand that when those moments happen to not let myself drown in my misery. Often times I can push past it, but today was not one of those days.

Yesterday, I was happy. I wasn't in the best of physical shape, but I was happy. I was alive, I was moving around even though my body was hurting. When I smiled it actually was real. That peace I was feeling made me motivated. I decided I was going to get up early and attempt Bikram Yoga. I was nervous to get in a sweat box with strangers and attempt something I was completely ignorant about, but I was determined. So I did something that normally is impossible. I actually went to bed and fell asleep at 8:30 PM. It was nice, I wasn't riddled by fictitious images in my nightmares, until I was woken by a real life one. My mobile rang a bit before 11 PM awakening me from my peaceful state, only to make my heart beat so loudly it felt like there was another person speaking in a weird language in my head. The owner of the number isn't stored in my phone any more, but I knew who it was. They knew better then to call, they had no right to call, however they did.

I waited to see what vile voice-mail message they would leave me. I waited to see if they would continue to call all night to see if they could torment me. I waited, but nothing happened. No voice-mail, not another call. I should have let it go, called it an accident. I should have not given it another thought. However, I let this person invade my peace. I gave them power over my thoughts and emotions. The remainder of my sleep was riddle with weird and disturbing images. I would awake shaking and angry. I decided that an early morning yoga class wasn't for the best. I didn't need to be in a small class with a new teacher, drawing extra attention to myself. I needed to be lost among the masses. So the evening yoga class was it.

However, fate had other plans.

The disturbing night continued to push my body further down the sickness trail, but that was okay. I would push through. I got up, began to move about my home cleaning this and that. Then the chime on my mobile let me know that I had e-mail messages. Mixed in with the junk mail, the notices for bills that were paid and/or due, hellos, there was anger and hatred. I should have deleted the message. But I didn't. I had to believe that because this person claimed to love me they had the ability to show me kindness. I was wrong. One line the person would appear to give me a compliment only, to follow-up with many lines of disappointment, anger, and disgust. It was the one-two punch. The knock-out. It was like these two persons decided together let us see how we can mess her up just a bit more. She's on the verge let's just poke, push, nudge her until the falls off the edge. They succeeded, I'm let them win. The pain from the words were too much. My physical body was already faltering, the only thing keeping me afloat was my mental fortitude.

However, I fell and ended my day being actually poked and prodded; looked over and speculated about. Todays mission to attend my first Bikram Yoga class, I failed. But as I write this I am getting to the space of forgiving myself for letting them get to me. I am getting better. Fate may have other plans, but so do I and fate may have one today, but it won't win tomorrow.

Music Monday - Daft Punk.

2011-01-03T14:30:00.002-05:00

I'm a "Daft Punk" fan. I found out about this electronic music maven duo back in 1997. My only knowledge at the time in regards to electronic/electronica was Moby. So to say I was clueless to the wonders of this genre was an understatement.

Thank goodness my ears were blessed with the glorious sounds coming from the two who make up "Daft Punk," French musicians Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter. The first song I heard was "Da Funk" from the album "Homework."

I can't recall where I was when I heard this song, but I was immediately hooked. And since we were still making mix-tapes at the time. I made a mix-tape of my favorite "Daft Punk" songs and played them on my walkman as I was cruising around school and the suburbs of Boston, MA. I happily wore that tape out and proceeded to make another.

When I finally got around to CD's I couldn't afford to go out and buy "Daft Punk's" work, so being the bad girl that I was I'll admit that I stole a few tracks from Napster. And as the early 2000's progressed I didn't listen to them as much, but was glad when I would stumbled across a song or two. As for the last couple of years, I hadn't heard anything from them. But mind you I've been living in a hole called graduate school, so please don't be too cross with me. So since I'm in my hole I had no clue that the soundtrack for "Tron: Legacy" was done by "Daft Punk." If I would have known I would have seen the movie already and been listening to the soundtrack for the last month.

However, I didn't but now I do and I'm beyond stoked that I've been rocking these tracks since the weekend. My ears are happy and apparently so are my feet, because I was listening the soundtrack this morning and shaved 5 minutes off my walking commute. FTMFW! So for you all here is a little taste of musical heaven, "Derezzed" from the "Tron: Legacy" soundtrack. Enjoy!

Snow and slushy New York City.

2011-01-02T23:08:00.004-05:00

On December 26, 2010, my lovely city was hit with a beautiful snow storm. As the snow fell the city was blanketed in utter perfection of wondrous beauty. The rare moments that I spent outside were glorious. I love snow when it's in the purest form. Untouched by animal, human, or machine. However, since I was ill and still trying to push my way through it, I didn't truly spend much time enjoying the beauty of the city last week. I wasn't able to go to the city parks and take sequence photos of the action going on in there. Capture images of the landscape as it was blanketed in perfection. Nope, I was huddled under my covers watching as amazing snow turned dirty. Was marred by the happenings of the world. And even though I know it has to happen I'm always saddened and sometimes angered that the glory slowly slips away.

So as I walked throughout the city today in it's darkness, I'm annoyed that I walk by piles of trash that hasn't been picked up for days, smelling the decay of the world around me. And my only moment of happiness I feel in the midst of debris is the time I come upon a dryer vent that is pushing out freshness. I have to stop and take in the cleanliness that is being pushed into my lungs. It's not as pleasant as sitting in a middle of a field of lilies, but it's enough to make me close my eyes and forget the truth that I'm currently surrounded by.

A little 2010 sparkle in 2011.

2011-01-01T16:02:00.004-05:00

Most folks start off the New Year looking forward, discussing things that are to come or hope will happen. I decided to look back and post a blog post that I thought at the time was a bit funny and highly embarrassing. After the post hit, I never realized the reaction that would come from it. Who knew this little post that hit on July 9, 2010 would become the most popular post for the defunt online magazine "Room 704."

So here is a little 2010 sparkle in 2011:

Vajazzle: the bedazzling of one's lady bits or manly manscaped area.

A few weeks ago I found out about vajazzling. And being the dorky, plump, idiot I am, I proceeded to giggle and snort like a fool for about three hours. As well as, come up with all kind of options of what vajazzled glory I would get on my cooter if I ever got the gumption and extra cash laid in my hand to do so. Getting vajazzled isn’t cheap, it can range from $50 to $115 depending on how intricate the design and/or type of beading/crystals used. And the sucker doesn’t even last that long; approximately 5 days.

With all that written I decided I wanted to get it done, just to say I did it. Just to say I was adventurous. Just to say that I had some extremely girlie bits attached to me. But I’m cheap and can barely make it through a waxing without wanting to run away because I’m so embarrassed, so I needed to go the DIY (do it yourself) route. I looked online and found out that completely bare (the #1 spa for hair removal) has their own set of bare flairs.

It was on! I was going to stop by completely bare and get a heart flair to disco-ball my lily with. But before I even made it to the spa I ran across Fing’rs Bling Nail & Body Art at my local drugstore. Score – $20 saved. So with much embarrassment I made my body art purchase and wondered what it was going to feel like to be walking around knowing that crystals are on my down there area. Or if somehow, someway could the crystals fall out of my underwear and onto the ground leaving a trail and having folks think I poo rainbows and unicorns. Regardless of how it was going to play out, I was going to go through with putting a sparkle party in my pants.

Armed with my body art and a full length mirror I followed the instructions and quite skillfully placed a lovely heart on my coochie. I was vajzzled and feeling quite silly. The accoutrements rubbed against my underwear, I was always fully aware they were there because it itched like the dickens. Why did it itch like the dickens? Because I recently found out that I’m allergic to adhesive. So due to my need to give my life some spice, I’ll be walking around with a dark rash like heart on my vajayjay for a week or so.

And just to provide you with even more embarrassing information, if I was brave enough and could tolerate the adhesive I would vajazzle my love box with Hello Kitty I love nerds logo.

*The butterfly vajazzle image was retrieved from CrabbyGolightly.

Muffin top needs to stop.

2010-12-02T16:19:00.004-05:00

Today has been a day in pure clothing HELL!

First off, I decided to take my sleeping medication last night so I could finally sleep for a full eight hours. For some odd reason the medication never truly kicked in so I went to bed around close to my normal time, 4 AM . Seven hours later I awake and it's 11 AM. Crap! Crap! Crap! I've slept through my alarm, however I've gotten more hours of sleep then I normally do (Yay!), but I have run out of clean underwear (D'oh!). Why? Because I slept through my alarm which meant I didn't do laundry this morning.

So I had a decision to make. Open a fresh pack of underwear and get the itch I would get from wearing undergarments and/or clothes straight out the package (I have super sensitive skin). Or wear the underwear I only wear when trying on bathing suits. I opted for the latter.

These underwear are reserved for trying on bathing suits because they don't present a pantyline and fall on my body it's like I'm not wearing underwear at all, but need to actually have on underwear that doesn't look like I'm smuggling children along with my fupa. As well as, will provide protection for my body from the woman I know who tried on this bathing suit before me with no drawers on.

Holy Jeebus, I truly wished I just wore the new underwear. The granny drawers that cover all of my unflattering bits, that suck in my fupa, that make me look like a fatter version of my grandmother, but are comfortable. But no I didn't want to itch and I didn't want to bust open a new pack of underwear because I couldn't be bothered to do laundry the last couple of days and/or get up on time to do it today when I have NO clean normal underwear to wear. So here I've been all day not sporting a wedgie (which would be amazing compared to this) but a muffin top from hell. Seriously my pants and my fat rolls have been fighting all day. And the fat rolls are winning.

See I haven't busted out these hipsters since January 2010 when I was visiting Hawai'i for the first time this year and needed a new bathing suit. I've gained a bunch of pounds since then, so these hipsters which would normally work with my fat rolls have turned to I barely cover your cooch and ass crack drawers. Which in turn means my rolls are just out and about and my jeans have no clue what to. So all day I've had major muffin top. If I didn't wear layers I would have scared many of people in my office building today.

So as I sit here with my gut and back fat spilling out itching to get home so I can finally do some laundry and get back to my regularly scheduled everyday panties and my I'm feeling zexy panties that actually fit my ever growing ass.

*The muffin top image was retrieved from the audacity of fat blog.

It's December, WTFH?

2010-12-01T13:59:00.003-05:00

I can't believe 2010 is coming to a close. I honestly feel like this year has gone by so quickly. I haven't fully tackled my three New Year's Resolutions:

1. "...I need to put myself first, ask questions and figure out what the hell is wrong with me." I got sideswiped with new medical issues this year, that I wasn't proactive in finding the root to any of my medical problems. The one thing I did do was leave my full-time job to start working part-time. This was a tough decision to make, but I made it. It sucks hard financially, but so far I'm making it.

I had my moments when I go a bit shopping crazy, but I realize the illness and/or pain I feel will not go away with items not matter how shiny they might be *pout*. I blew through some of my savings due to these shopping binges, but I'm currently looking at ways to make some extra cash on the side as well as, sell some of the items I don't need.

Regardless, I need to get motivated to demand answers from my physicians and if they can't provide them to me I need to find someone who will.

2. "...I need to stop being the person that everyone thinks I should be." This is an on-going battle. More often then not, I do things that I'm not comfortable with because it makes others feel at ease, i.e., mingling. Just thinking about striking up a conversation with a stranger makes me sweat and my stomach start to bubble. I've let myself be forced into these type of situations knowing good well how badly I hate them. However, there were moments when I told myself I wouldn't do it, until I got to a point I was comfortable. I did that when I went to Forks this past Fall.

I hid behind my sister from another mother (and father) @Kitty_Elvis (Thank Jeebus for her) until I was comfortable. And by comfortable I mean I knocked back a few adult beverages until my inhibitions were lowered. I took me a moment to get over the guilty feeling, but I know I enjoyed myself a lot more because I didn't force myself to mingle. Also, my roommates should also be grateful I didn't force it because the toilet would have been used and abused by my bowels if I did. I do regret that I wasn't able to have deeper and more informative conversations with folks while in Forks, but I'm getting to know a lot of people online so that makes me feel better. And if I ever venture to do another trip like this in the future the whole mingling thing won't be as big of an issue.

3. "Enjoy being me! I'm going to take every day and just live..." I haven't done this everyday, but for the most part I've tried to do things that I normally wouldn't because I wasn't feeling 100%. So even on the days I'm running almost on empty I try to pick myself up and still push forward and try something new. I've gotten out of reading about life and trying to experience it. I ask questions from people with similar interests, meet-up with them to discuss things. I learn and experience in person. And on most days I do end by telling myself, " it was a good day and I'm happy with who am I and where I'm going."

National Blog Posting Month.

2010-11-30T23:34:00.003-05:00

Phew!!! I made it. I posted everyday, some posts were crap, some were just short of ~~genius~~ great. Regardless, I'm proud of myself for taking the challenge and actually completing it. There were PC issues and a bit of being illness that made some days look like I couldn't complete my goal. A couple of overzealous times with having an idea early and putting it in draft form. Then not realizing that once in draft form it would take on the day that it was entered into draft. D'oh! But here I sit on the last day of National Blog Posting Month feeling very proud of myself for actually making a promise to me and keeping it.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me. Reading about my issues, my struggles, my heartaches, my craziness, and my accomplishments. I shared a lot, but learned even more from you all.

Once again thank you!!!

I have nothing to say.

2010-11-29T21:07:00.006-05:00

Truly I'm at a loss of what to write.

I sat down early today and tried to fix an upcoming post on short celebrity men. That failed, so I decided to free write about not having anything to write about in the hopes that it would inspire something to write about. Nope!

So now I have 12 actual pages of handwritten free writing, that states and restates the actual failure of my mind to come up with something other than, I have nothing to say and how that makes me feel. So that is where I am at the moment and it saddens me.

But in other news, I was watching U-Stream "Beer Diplomacy" and found today there is Alcohol Infused Whipped Cream. My life is complete.

Ugh! Blogging Issues.

2010-11-28T23:21:00.005-05:00

I'm having some blogging issues and I'm annoyed. I'm working on compiling a list of celebrity men who are short and hot. Some of you may have noticed this tweet earlier:

I received some wonderful responses and began to put together a list with pictures and comments. As I was getting ready to post it, I started having issues with links and images. So no hot, short celebrity man post. I'm truly sad about this. However, the post will come because it's too good not to put the work into it again to make it happen. Especially, when I found out how many of the male celebrities I thought were attractive are so frakkin' short. I can't wait for you all to read it, but it will have to wait for a later date.

Red Hook Lobster - FTMFW!!!

2010-11-27T22:32:00.004-05:00

Today I ventured out to Red Hook, Brooklyn to consume the yumminess called the Maine Lobster roll from the Red Hook Lobster Pound. Honestly, this was THE BEST lobster roll I've had since coming to New York City. I could write more about the goodness that was in my stomach earlier, but I'm wiped out. I've had the best day in Brooklyn and it is far from over. More details will come of my adventure, but until then have a great night and find a great lobster roll near you.

Goodness.

2010-11-26T23:31:00.006-05:00

Today has been awesome, I spotted Jesse L. Martin in the flesh as I was participating in the lottery for "Merchant of Venice." Doesn't his beauty scream, "Make babies with me?" Unf!

Then if the day couldn't get any better it has because I'm hanging out with @lorabell watching the cuteness that is Michael Angarano.

*The image was retreived from Herald Dispatch.

A night filled with awkward.

2010-11-25T21:32:00.005-05:00

Tonight I had dinner with my biological father and his wife. Yes, she is my step-mother, but since I don't really think of him as my actual father it's hard to call her my step-mother.

Pretty much I'm estranged from all of my family members. My mother and I don't speak and it saddens me, but it was a decision that I needed to make for my sanity. My father and I don't speak mostly because I think he often forgets I exist unless he can brag about me to a business associate. I guess having a daughter who went to a prestigious women's college and attends an Ivy League graduate school makes great business connections. We also don't talk because of me. I'll be the first to admit that I'm jealous of him. He walks out on my mother and I and struggles a bit, but then makes this huge name of himself doing partly what I would like to do with my life.

It would be amazing to be able to leave school with this dream and to work with his company because they think what I want to try and do is a fantastic idea. No instead I get asked questions like, "Do you know how to write grants?" or "Wish you could write some grant proposals for us so we can stop paying folks to do it?" Ugh!

It's frustrating hearing about the finer things in life they possess: the trips, the four cars, the jewelry, the fancy clothes, the home, the vacation home. Listen to him dote on his step-daughter. Hear about how they paid for her wedding, the down-payment on her home and never have him contribute to my college or graduate school education. I'm filled with envy for this woman who is a couple of months younger than me get the father that I so desperately wanted - one who is active in my life.

So tonight I sit across a man and his wife I haven't seen in more than eight years and have a civilized dinner. I hear about how they go to the Caribbean six to seven times a year, how they went on this massive trip to Korea and Europe, listen to them debate about whether or not they should go to Ecuador next year for a volunteer trip, I even encourage them to do so, explaining the wonders they will get to experience. I watch as he places his wife in a mint coat and then I am amazed, but grateful when I watch as he places money in my hand that I so desperately need.

Yes, it was a night filled with awkwardness, but I leave knowing that even though I struggle and my future will be far from easy, I made it own my own.

PFach wasn't happy with me.

2010-11-24T14:02:00.007-05:00

Thanks to Demanda, I decided to post this little story today.

We are getting closer and closer to the release of 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" DVD. I'm excited, truly excited. This is the my favorite book in the seres as well as, my favorite movie in the saga. However, even with that all written I'm saddened because I don't think there will be another DVD epic release night like I experienced for "New Moon."

My friends @Lorabell, Robin, and myself decided to hit up two different DVD release events in one night: TwilightMOMS and Twilight Lexicon party and podcast at the Borders in Columbus Circle and the Peter Facinelli DVD signing at the Union Square Best Buy. I met up with @Lorabell and Robin in Union Square and retrieved our bracelets. We were about 100th in line so we knew were weren't getting the allotted special time with Peter. That went to the first 50 people in line. We had hours to kill and since we were informed that as long as we had our bracelets and returned we were guaranteed a signed copy of the DVD. So instead of waiting in line outside shooting the shit we decided to head over the Borders and see what they had going on.

When we arrived at Borders we were too late to receive a raffle ticket to win any of the prizes, but we got to listen to the TwilightMOMS and Twilight Lexicon tell us stories about their experience as bloggers as well as, be deafened because one of the panelist had no concept of how to back up off the mic when speaking. It was fun and us three were the oldest ones in attendance that didn't have any children in tow. So after we got our full we decided to head back down to Union Square for some PFach time.

Mind you I'm a follower, I do as I'm told and because I did so, I ended up right behind the group of 50 people answering trivia questions with Peter while everyone else was outside. It was a blast watching people go ape-shit and he was adorable. This was the second time seeing Peter up close and personal and I AM ALWAYS amazed at how pretty he actually is. His skin is crazy flawless. I want to take some scrapings and do studies to see if I can become a billionaire marketing products based off his skin.

Back to point, as the first 50 are getting their pictures taking and interacting with Peter, the security team tells us we can go through and purchase our copies of the DVD. So we step in line and there were some issues with the security and folks getting upset because the security guard wanted to stop folks from taking photos. I just kept my mouth shut and just didn't get involved. A young woman asked me to take her photo and I explained, "if they let me, I'll gladly do it." Yeah, they didn't. Oh, well.

As I made my way up they moved Peter from another cash register to the cash register I was about to make my purchase at. Squee! He's now right in front of me, so we had a quick conversation about how he was doing and I thanked him for doing the event. And as I'm waiting for the customer service rep to come over to me so I can make my purchase Peter states, "it would be nice if you got your credit card out." Oh, folks it wasn't sweet it was pure snippy. AND I LOVED IT!!!! I was so giddy inside, if I was on the verge of giggling like a maniac because I thought it was HI-larious. But I decided to keep my cool and proceeded to pull my credit card out. As the sales clerk is ringing me up, I get ready to swipe my card at the handheld station in front of me. But the clerk requested to see my credit card so she can swipe it herself.

You can see Peter getting annoyed, but he doesn't say anything and I'm getting happier and happier seeing him lose his cool. I'm hoping he will get so pissed, sweat will appear and I can prove he actually has on make-up. But NO, he just gets annoyed and doesn't cause a scene. Dammit!!! So as she takes my card I realize it states on the back of the card, "PLEASE SEE ID." So I inform the sales clerk, "oh, sorry I need to give you my ID." Then the MOST EPIC thing occurred. Peter, sighed. And it was one of these kinds of sighs, "HUUUHHH, SSSSSSSIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" I DIED!!! At this point you can tell Peter is not all to happy with me. His assistant doesn't know where to look. I'm trying to the best of my ability to not to lose my shit, by starting to fart and giggle. And I only make matters worse when I tell the clerk I don't need a bag as she goes to put the DVD in, Peter rolls his eyes. It was orgasmic. I was just about to say thanks to them all and bye. But nope, my friend RA goes, "do you want to take a picture?"

Peter has regained his cool at this point because he is a professional and allows me to take a picture with him. Now me being the smart ass and wanting to do this with any celebrity I am given the chance to, I busted out the "rock and roll" hand sign and stuck my tongue out. Peter didn't even flinch. I however, forgot about the delayed flash so I'm a blur and Peter is perfect, but his eyes are slanted towards my face with a hint of "WTF?" behind them.

The night was EPIC!