My friends often come to me for advice and majority of the time I don't mind giving it. But sometimes, I get so annoyed by the complaining that I just want to walk away while they are in the midst of describing their dilemma, so I don't junk punch them. And I don't mean think about junk punching them, but actually junk punching them. The compulsion to actually hit them in the junk is so strong that I would literally do it.
To get me to the point that I would actually, truly want to hit someone takes a lot. I'm annoyed and disgusted often, I get upset at times, but to truly have me angry or to the point of being mad enough to consider wanting to hit you was rare. But as of late, it's happening more and more. I think it's because I'm noticing folks have this attitude of you don't understand because insert ludicrous statement. I get it, we are often selfish and self-centered beings. But everyone of us has issues and even though they aren't exactly the same there is always a point or points in those issues where folks can relate.
I don't think those who go through break-ups know how hurtful it can be to stay to someone who is single, "you just don't understand the heartache and loss I'm going through right now." Really?! Did it ever occur to you that single person you are talking to is already heartbroken. They might be lonely, they lived days upon days without someone to share their life with, without someone loving to support them. They might be lost and alone and have never had a connection with someone, that they would cherish the day to have a relationship that could possibly end. Or they are being told, "I just don't see why you aren't with someone" while dealing with the constant rejection from possible mates. They might have gone through a break-up previously and that broken connection has affected how they navigate in the world.
Or when you talk about the weight of the world on you as man to support your mate. How "that struggle to live up to that perception is so difficult on you that no female will ever understand." Really?! Did you ever think that possibly that female you are speaking to has supported herself, her whole life. Or that female has been the main caretaker for her family before you even had to wash your own drawers because you, the male was still living at home and being taken care of by your single mother. So she fully understands the pressure because she has lives through it everyday. Because when her paycheck comes she might be sending money off to make sure a sibling can go on a school trip or pay that siblings tuition, while you are worrying about whether or not you can take a date out to an expensive restaurant.
We can relate on things. What you are going through may seem and might actually be horrible, but don't think you are the only one who has been through this. There are very few circumstances where one can truly say "I'm the only one who has had this issue or dilemma." It's not just you, so remember that the next time you go and discuss your problem or seek advice. Because you never know who you might be hurting when you talk about how the other person will never understand.